If you’ve ever felt an instant attraction to someone, a feeling you knew you couldn’t outrun (not that you would want to), today’s post is for you. And for me. Because I’d like us to muse together on this one.
I’m talking about the magnetic force that’s present the instant you meet someone and you know they’re going to be in your life for a very long time. You may not know at what capacity, but you know this person is not a friend-fad. They could be a future business partner, a life-long confidant, your guide to wisdom, or guide out of hell, or maybe someone destined to frustrate you like no other, so ultimately, you can learn to let go. Or…they could be all of the above.
Getting to the Root
Instant attraction is often referred to as being connected or having a connection with someone. I wonder if how we’re using connection in this context has anything to do with the actual connection between mother and baby through the umbilical cord. Let’s stop for a moment to consider this: there is not a single person who wasn’t tethered to his or her mother at one point in time. It’s universal.
Bearing that image in mind, I believe it’s easy to see why we say we “feel connected” to another the way we do. Conversely, when we don’t feel a connection with another, there’s no-thing that can make you feel bound to another, no matter what kind of cord you use.
The Scientific Route
Moving on from the umbilical cord picture, I believe there’s also a scientific explanation for this feeling of connectedness we either have or don’t have with another. Presented in Tom Shadyak’s documentary entitled I Am, the results of extensive heart studies indicated:
“As the heart beats, it generates a large electromagnetic field which radiates external to the body. This is a literal, measurable magnetic field.”
As I understand it, we subconsciously detect this field, and it is through this field that we experience the feeling of connectedness (or attraction) to another person. The field can be strong, weak, and everything in between. And it’s constantly working in both directions among people, stemming from the heart of both individuals.
What an excellent reason to listen to our hearts!
Science Aside, It Goes Beyond the Heart…
A few years ago I took an online blogging class. I vaguely knew what I would get out of it: tips, techniques, some SEO stuff. What I didn’t know was that I would soon read another student’s response to a homework assignment and the spark-of-connection would ignite me all the way to my toes!
Yes, you read correctly, a toe-igniting experience from reading someone’s homework! The student wasn’t standing in front of me or even in the same room, city, or state. I simply read his words across the screen of my laptop and knew. I just knew. Hundreds of emails later, Christmas cards exchanged, a box of tea shipped, a friendship formed; it all began with an igniting connection sparked from a homework assignment.
A connection of what? Our hearts couldn’t feel the electromagnetic field between Dallas and Los Angeles. Or could they? Perhaps it was a connection of some other sort of energy. A connection of words. Or the connection behind, between, and within the words. Who knows?
What It All Boils Down To
Where the term connection came from and whether it exists as part of an electromagnetic field radiating from our hearts or from somewhere else isn’t in question here. I think we can all agree that the feelings behind connectedness/attraction do exist.
We’ve all felt the instant attraction to another person, or felt the absence of it. Milliseconds after meeting someone, we’ve felt as if we have known them for years. Or, perhaps after years, we’ve felt nothing at all, we’re completely devoid of emotion, utterly blah.
What’s more, the feeling and degree of connectedness changes not only from person to person, but can also change within the same conversation with the same person! Have you ever noticed that?
Why We Come Back For More
It’s the feeling of connectedness, the spark that binds, that I absolutely love. I love it because it’s that feeling that keeps me coming back for more. More conversation, more interaction, more desire to know them, more interest in where they’re from, what they’ve seen. Just plain more.
It’s what makes walking away at the end of lunch or hanging up the phone difficult. You just want to linger. Five more minutes….
Words to Remember
Who didn’t love Randy Pausch’s speech “The Last Lecture”? His scientific approach, mixed with practical advice and the wisdom of a man who knew he was soon to depart, appealed to me many times throughout his “farewell” address. Like when he said:
I believe that is true. For me, I become a better person when I’m connected to others. And it’s a goal of mine, to connect with you, in each and every post.
So, as the title asks, “What’s Up with Instant Attraction?’” I’ve given you my two cents, presented from several angles. Now it’s your turn. Connect back with me in the Comments section. What do you think? Is a feeling of being connected to others important to you? If so, why? I’m all ears!
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