The thing that sucks about writing/talking about trust for a living is when trusting simply becomes #!?!@#! Take this morning: I was on the phone with my credit card company, followed by the wireless phone company for over two hours. OVER TWO HOURS I tell you! Finally (maybe) everything is PART WAY resolved. After I got off the phone and rubbed my red, hot ear, I decided only one thing would suffice: it was time to throw a toddler tantrum—kick, scream, the works!
But no…there was this calm, serene voice that said, “Remember, everything happens for a reason. Look for the lesson. Don’t get angry over the situation. Anger doesn’t help.” Blah, blah, blah…. Shut up already! I am angry!
Well, maybe not angry. Annoyed. SUPER annoyed!
There was suspected fraud on my credit card, not even actual fraud. Suspected fraud, what does that even mean? Steven, Fraud Supervisor, explained it to me (which made sense at the time…and totally evades me now).
This suspected fraud has led to a to-do list that is longer than Santa’s “good-list” on his best year. And oh!…the time I’m sure to spend completing this to-do list! I won’t go into details, mostly because you have your own annoying day-to-day issues to deal with; you don’t need to hear about mine. Besides, my day is not busier nor is my time more valuable than yours—yet it is this perceived loss of time I am so annoyed about.
How can losing time exist for someone who believes there are no accidents? That everything happens for a reason? How can losing time exist simultaneously with such a belief system?
They cannot co-exist. Which means what? It means I faltered in my own belief system. Yep, I’m human.
Luckily, the belief that everything happens for a reason, that all is working out for my higher good, is so deeply rooted inside me, I was able to feel my center place of calm within minutes (well, maybe after several minutes and a cuppa tea). But the fact that I was not highjacked by anger for the rest of the day or for hours on-end is a much better place than I have been in the past. And no tantrum. Maybe a ranting text or two to close friends. Then calm. Peace.
And I image you have, too.
Over time and life experiences we grow into who we are meant to become. If we allow ourselves.
Go There With Me
So today, I‘d like you to think of a particular annoyance. What I’d ask is that you step out of the annoyance. Let’s start by looking straight at it. Place yourself right at its center. Then watch your body (more accurately, your spirit) as it steps outside of the anger, frustration, jealousy—whatever emotion isn’t serving you well in that moment. Now standing on the outside, see yourself quite detached, watching the situation as if you were watching a movie.
After placing yourself outside of your mental earthquake’s epicenter, the key is to watch in a detached way. Not how we can become so wrapped-up in a movie that we gasp for air, not realizing we had been holding our breath. But completely separate, from the space of the observer.
Once the observer, begin by recounting out loud What IS.
- there is suspected fraud on my credit card
- it is annoying to deal with
- I must dedicate time out of my day if I want it resolved
- annoyances can be part of life
- I can choose to dig deeper into What IS or hold on to the annoying feelings
- I choose to dig deeper
- I am not held accountable for any charges on my card that I didn’t make
- for the charges I did make, I have money in the bank to cover them
- (here the shift occurs and I start to feel the cup as half-full, so I keep going….)
- my credit card is a convenience I use probably 1,000 times a year; it makes my life easier
- by taking this precaution, my credit card company is looking out for my best interest
- I like my best interest being looking out for
- I appreciate the work their Fraud Dept. does
It may sound lame, far-fetched, whatever, but I’m here to tell you, these are my actual thoughts turned to feelings, once I stopped and stated my What IS out loud. My What IS started with feeling annoyed and ended with feeling grateful. It began with teasing out the details with my mind, then moving the thoughts downward, until they touched my heart in the form of grateful, peaceful feelings.
Gratitude feels peaceful. And I feel peaceful when I trust.
Are you able to take your annoying, anger-filled situation and state your What IS until you can authentically find a place of gratitude? And if being grateful is a stretch and you’re not ready to go there, are you able to at least find neutral? Neutral is a whole lot better than feeling annoyed, angry, jealous, spiteful, etc.
So yes, trusting can be so #!?!@#!…cumbersome, difficult, tiring, frustrating. Especially when giving up, blaming others, and complaining can seem so much easier. If you’re reading this blog though, you’re a seeker of Truth, and Truth seekers are those who say Onward! Even when Onward! is cumbersome, difficult, tiring, and frustrating.
State What IS. Trust your words. They are your truth. And they will lead you to peace.
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