As I sat and began preparing an article for this morning, the morning I undergo the last of my surgeries after being diagnosed with breast cancer this past summer, I realized I’ve already written about where I’d like to be today (emotionally).
I’m happy to share with you, that Today, I Feel Peace Like That; peace like I wrote about in the following article I published earlier this year. Peace that I didn’t feel at the time I wrote this article, but I do now.
So today, as you think of me, of the surgeons and the medical staff attending to me, please find it somewhere inside yourself to also feel Peace Like That.
I hope you enjoy today’s reblog. Love, Leslie
“Peace Like That”
We’ve heard it said that a picture is worth a thousand words. Well, last summer as I took the following picture, I only felt ONE word: Peace.
Right before I took the picture, my son felt my presence and opened his eyes, he even began to sit up. I was sure I had missed the opportunity to capture such a state of calm; that there was no way he could lull himself into that peaceful bliss again. But within seconds, he was back, as serene as you see him now. I was amazed at how quickly he was able to Let Go.
Looking closely, you’ll notice that only the tips of his toes, his stomach and chest, and a portion of his face are exposed. I imagine the water surrounding his body like that, coupled with the slight air that was touching him made for a soothing combination. Over the past week I’ve looked at this picture dozens of times. As I look at it, I try and imagine what it feels like to feel that much peace. I especially focus on his face.
Clearly, he’s not worried about anything. His ears are submerged so he’s not distracted by any outside noise, but rather he’s experiencing that muffled sense of sound like one does when under water. He feels air on his face and Trusts his next breath will come. He knows he has a secure foundation underneath him that will not betray him. Somehow he even knows his brother and friend will not jump in the pool and disturb his peace, or perhaps he doesn’t care. He’s not concerned about anything in this moment.
I want peace like that.
Many times (yesterday, for instance) I rush around so much, I feel as if life is moving WAY too fast. When it’s three o’clock in the afternoon and I haven’t eaten breakfast or lunch yet, there’s a problem. Around that time the phone rang, and although I knew I was feeling terribly depleted, and terribly hungry, I chose to pick it up anyway. Moments later I heard myself say out loud that things are so hectic I feel I’m barely keeping my head above water. My girlfriend laughed and said, “Sounds like a good topic for your next article.” But I already had a topic, I was going to write about the picture above and the peace within.
And it hit me. My son’s face was above water. But he wasn’t feeling the anxiety that I was. He literally, and I figuratively, had our heads above water, but his way was serving him well, mine was not.
Over time I’ve studied this picture, trying to capture the essence of the peace he was feeling. I shared the picture with my mom and discussed with her the peace I feel when I look at it. Then, somewhere along the way, I allowed myself to move way too fast. I allowed myself to get caught up with the next, and the next, and the next, instead of Being. I was holding on to Doing, instead of Being, and as a result I was feeling weighed down.
Moments later, rummaging around in my office, I saw a quote by Buddha. “Life can only take place in the present moment. If we lose the present moment, we lose life.”
Lose life? No! I treasure life. I Trust Life. How can I honor this life that Our Creator has given me by allowing myself to spin out of control with my thoughts and actions? I’ve found over the years it’s been difficult for me to tame my thoughts, however, with practice I’ve gotten much better. But my actions? Those are much easier to slow down. And I did. As soon as I paused long enough to acknowledge what I had been doing, I stopped dead in my tracks, and began to simply Be. I Let Go and felt free.
I’d like to end with a prayer I read recently:
“All things have energy. The more we hold on to, the more we are weighed down. In order to move forward with any aspect of our lives, Let Go of all that does not feed the present you. The past is done, the future is still developing. Be true, be free, be you.”