Trusting Can Be So #!?!@#!

The thing that sucks about writing/talking about trust for a living is when trusting simply becomes #!?!@#! Take this morning: I was on the phone with my credit card company, followed by the wireless phone company for over two hours. OVER TWO HOURS I tell you! Finally (maybe) everything is PART WAY resolved. After I got off the phone and rubbed my red, hot ear, I decided only one thing would suffice: it was time to throw a toddler tantrum—kick, scream, the works!

But no…there was this calm, serene voice that said, “Remember, everything happens for a reason. Look for the lesson. Don’t get angry over the situation. Anger doesn’t help.” Blah, blah, blah…. Shut up already! I am angry!

Well, maybe not angry. Annoyed. SUPER annoyed!

Smudged Trust

 

There was suspected fraud on my credit card, not even actual fraud. Suspected fraud, what does that even mean? Steven, Fraud Supervisor, explained it to me (which made sense at the time…and totally evades me now).

This suspected fraud has led to a to-do list that is longer than Santa’s “good-list” on his best year. And oh!…the time I’m sure to spend completing this to-do list! I won’t go into details, mostly because you have your own annoying day-to-day issues to deal with; you don’t need to hear about mine. Besides, my day is not busier nor is my time more valuable than yours—yet it is this perceived loss of time I am so annoyed about.  Continue Reading

I Trust THAT Feeling

In the last blog post, “What’s Up with Instant Attraction,” we discussed instant attraction as a form of feeling connected to another.  We discussed all sorts of connections, why they exist, where they come from, what keeps us coming back for more, etc.

Odd as it may sound, when I meet someone and feel an instant connection, rather than see our physical human bodies, I often see us in the image of trees.  I envision our torsos as trunks, standing side by side.  Our branches have hundreds of small twigs protruding outward.  We share our journey to reach upward to the sun, to something higher and greater than our individual selves—yet we know that this higher and greater source originates within us.

We plunge down into the earth, underneath its surface, becoming entangled in a system of roots, intertwined, reaching with outstretched limbs to the depths of the earth’s core, keeping us anchored to Life as well as to each other.  For that moment we have become interwoven, enmeshed.

Our Oneness is as sharp and brilliant as lightning.  We resonate with each other.

It’s THAT feeling that I trust.

My hope is that I resonate with you.

As I began writing today’s post, I got to right here, stepped away from my computer for a few minutes, and before I started writing again I did a quick search for something completely unrelated and happened to stumble upon this image:

trust

It only took a second of reading and breathing in the message to say to myself, “Yes.  Stop here.  You have said enough.”

From my heart to yours.  I hope you have a beautiful day.

Love,
Leslie

instant attraction

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What’s In a Label?

Writer, mother, wife, friend, breast cancer sur-thriver, Truth-sayer, dreamer, seeker, lover….  So many labels!  Did I assign these to myself?  Did others assign them to me and I chose to accept them?  Are there other labels that I chose to reject, and therefore don’t appear on this list?

As you sift through the following words, commonly used as labels, pay particular attention to how (if) your feelings change while you read each one.

label Did some strike a chord?  If so, was it a happy chord or a not-so-happy chord?  Did some not render any emotion whatsoever?  (Apologies upfront for the overwhelmingly skewed negative nature of the words — I’m not techy enough to create my own list, so I borrowed from Google Images.) Continue Reading

Experience a Little Heaven on Earth

If you want to learn something, read about it. If you want to understand something, write about it. If you want to master something, teach it.”

~ Yogi Bhajan

Yep, that just about sums up the path I’m on with trust.  I began reading about trust (trust and faith really, their subtle differences, meanings, nuances) many years ago.  Shortly after, I started writing about it, but only for myself.  Then, over three years ago I started publicly writing about trust here on Trust Life Today, followed by teaching individuals first, then later groups.

As linear of an approach as it may sound — read, write, teach — what I’ve found is now that I’m at the teaching stage of trust, I continue to read and write about it.  I still study, contemplate, question, and even meditate on trust.  Although I’ve written posts about why people don’t trust, I constantly find it surprising when they don’t.  Until one day, in the midst of life, I find myself there too, not trusting.

And then I’m reminded — trust isn’t something I have mastered, it is a daily practice.  Trust is a practice I’ve chosen to embrace.  Why?  Because my breathing slows down to a calm, steady rhythm when I trust.  Because my hot female, Mexican, Taurus, Pitta dosha, Enneagram 8, Chinese symbol fire, who-knows-what-label, does not flare as quickly when I trust.  Because I get better sleep at night when I trust.

Because I show myself and the world the best of me.
Because I feel God within me.
Because I feel peace.

Because the peace that comes from trusting feels like a little slice of Heaven on Earth to me. 

And I want more peace in my life, more God in my life, more of my best-self to show up every day in my life, and definitely more Heaven on Earth in my life.  So I have cultivated a practice of trust, and I do just that, I practice.

And I screw up.

There are times I forget what it means to trust, and to have faith, and to love myself.  I simply forget.  I slip into old patterns and behaviors.

Then…after I’m done beating myself up over the screw up, when I’m finally able to be still and quiet within my heart and mind, I give thanks.

Unfortunately, I often allow my life to become so fast and frenetic, I rush to the next thing, then the next, never stopping to realize that the irksome feeling hovering over my head like a dark, Eeyore-cloud, is actually me continuing to beat myself up unconsciously.  It is not until I slow down enough to quiet my mind and tune into my heart that I see the screw up for what it is:  an opportunity to forgive myself, to learn from the experience, to practice self-compassion, perhaps even to provide comfort or to empathize with my neighbor who may share with me something similar as we both “coincidentally” meet at our mailboxes next week, month, or year.  Glance over the previous sentence, and you will find between each comma lies the reasons I give thanks for the quote-unquote-screw-up.

Heaven on EarthIn the giving of thanks, on an energetic level I feel restored, like my inner-balance-scale had been horribly askew, and now it has settled back to the middle, not tilting one way or the other.  In that horizontal plane of my inner-scale, my practice of trust begins again.  The experience of Heaven on Earth gently nudges me and I close my eyes and smile.

From where you’re sitting and reading today’s post, you may be thinking, Right on!  I can do this!  A daily practice of trust is totally within me!  Or, you may be thinking, Is she f-ing kidding me?  She has no idea what I’m going through and if she only had a clue, she would know trust is impossible, completely impossible.  Or maybe your pendulum is swinging back and forth between the two.  Wherever you are on your path, stop now and honor it.  It is your truth.  Own it.  Then ask yourself,  Why can’t I experience a little Heaven on Earth?  Close your eyes, smile, and know you can.  Even if you think you can’t, you can.

What’s Next

Join me next week, as I talk to the group in the second bucket above, the “it’s impossible to trust” bucket.  Tune in if this is you.  If it’s not you, chances are you know someone in this bucket; consider sharing this post with them in the hopes it will get their juices flowing and prepared for what’s to come.  I look forward to seeing you next week.

In love and trust,
Leslie

fall in love with life

I hope you enjoyed today’s post.  If you haven’t signed up for your weekly dose of Love and Trust, please do!  I’ll only send you original posts I hope inspire and ignite your heart.

Connect with me on:

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Amazon, recently released book:  Love, Trust & Pixie Dust

Book Cover-3D small