Why YOU Must Be the Hand Holder, Not the Other Way Around

A little girl of about eight-years old and her father were crossing a bridge one afternoon by foot.  Around halfway across, the wind began to pick up.  The little girl’s hair whipped all about, for brief moments making it difficult for her to see.  An egregious gust of wind came with such sudden force, the father stumbled, then lurched forward in a vain attempt to retrieve his hat.  As the grown man watched the black speck of fabric flutter downward and eventually strike the river below, he felt a slight shiver as he was reminded just how fragile life can seem.

It was this thought, the thought of the fragility of life in general, and of his mortality in particular, that made this man feel vulnerable and scared.  Quite unexpectedly and with more force than he had intended, the father announced to his little girl, “Sweetheart, please hold Daddy’s hand so that you don’t fall into the river.”

The little girl responded, just as fast as the whip of wind, “No, Daddy.  You hold my hand.”

“What’s the difference?” asked the puzzled father.

“There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl.  “If I hold your hand and something happens to me, I’ll probably let go.  But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let go of my hand.”

In any relationship, the Truth of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.  So hold the hand of the person whom you love, rather than expect them to hold yours.

Do this:  the next time you find yourself clasping your own hands (you may be doing it now), notice how your fingers interlace perfectly, naturally, effortlessly.  Remind yourself to see THAT as a bond of Self-Love.  What a beautiful place to start…that has no end.

May you lead your life by Love.  And live your life with Trust.  Amen.

hand holder

If today’s message spoke to you, won’t you please share it on Facebook or Twitter?  You never know, it might be just the thing someone in your circle of friends is meant to experience today.  Thank you!

Love,
Leslie

How to Love Yourself, Straight From You

For the past month we’ve been talking about Self-Love…what it means, what it looks like, and how we express it in our lives (or not).

Summary of Previous Articles:

“How to Love Yourself First”— The series kicked off with a story about dating the “wrong guy” for way too long.  Why did I stick around for so long?  Bottom-line: because I didn’t love myself enough.  Three important questions were posed in order to help you determine how (if) you love yourself.

“Are You Constantly Searching for Love? Here’s One Sure Step to Finding Love”— In this post, you will clearly see what it means to love yourself…what it actually looks like in concrete terms.

“She Learned to Love Herself…And So Can You”— Using the Mexican artist Frida Kahlo to introduce self-love, we quickly shift to the HOW TO of self-love in this post.

“French Fries and Fingernails”— Last week we looked at how self-love comes in all shapes and sizes. How sometimes it’s the small, random acts of kindness we offer ourselves that speak the loudest.  We also heard from two readers who shared how they struggle with self-love and the tactics they use to overcome their struggles.

Topic with No End

This has been a huge topic.  One I’ll never really be “done” writing about or exploring its importance in our daily lives.  But for today, I will wrap up this series on self-love by sharing the candid, and sometimes extremely raw insights that you shared with me.  And finally ending this post with a list of your self-love practices.  Continue Reading

Why Trust Is Important

Sneak Peek into the recently released book:  Love, Trust & Pixie Dust.

Excerpt from Chapter 3: It Is What It Is.

why trust is important

“My life has been filled with many misfortunes, most of which never happened.”  ~ Mark Twain

Why Trust Is Important

Why Should We Trust Life?

Cliches become cliches mostly because they speak the truth.  So whether you loathe or love the cliche It Is What It Is, there’s a whole lot of truth in it.  That said, why should we even bother trusting?

One of my dear friends decided to play Devil’s Advocate one day, and sent me an email asking, “Why should we trust life?”  I say Devil’s Advocate because he wasn’t asking the question expecting a response, but rather for me to consider how I’d respond to someone reading my blog or even to you sitting here now, holding this book and wondering, Yeah, why should I trust life?

There is a simple, one-word response to the question — and that word is:  Peace.  Being at peace in our everyday lives is the ultimate end goal and reason behind why we trust.  Trust unlocks the door to peace.  But there’s more….

The Crux of the Matter:  What IS Versus What IF

Peace is why we trust, yes, but there’s more.  First off, put yourself in the mindset of thinking of trusting life as a series of events.  The series starts with the awareness/acceptance of What IS, which in many cases is the same as letting go.  Essentially, What IS, is looking at a situation and NOT inserting layer upon layer of What IF:  “What IF I lose my job?  What IF he leaves me?   What IF I get sick?”  No, no, no.  What IS means being grounded in seeing the truth, in not inventing the stuff that makes our heads spin out of control.

Think:  whatever you are worrying about or holding on to (the What IF) and imagine yourself letting go of those What IFs and seeing What Truly IS.

Once you are aware and accept What IS, the enormous amount of energy you were giving to the worry — or the What IFs — now ends.  It has no power over you.  This is key, because before you are aware and accept What IS, your mind races with thoughts of worry and fear.  Thoughts of What IF often lead to the invention of entirely fictitious situations (which I, and Mark Twain might add, hardly ever end up happening).  These ungrounded thoughts are what take up so much unnecessary energy.  They often lead to more worry, more fear.  You become restless and irritable, you lose sleep.  The snowball effect is in full force at this point.  The “monkey-mind” is cranked up in high gear, jumping from one thought to another and another, not easily quieted.  I think it’s pretty safe to say we’ve all experienced monkey-mind to one degree or another.

Field of Pure Awareness

It is when we become aware, and accept What IS, that the monkey-mind quiets, and we can Be.  Once we are in a state of Being, we are able to observe moment by moment, from the highest field of all, Pure Awareness.

Now, if it has all made sense up to this point, but I just lost you with the Pure Awareness comment, hang tight.  I want to take it a step further and deeper.  Once you’re observing moment by moment, no longer in the worry-place and completely out of the monkey-mind chatter, whatever action you take will be in harmony with this field of Pure Awareness.  Therefore, whatever action you take will be for the highest good for all.  Remember the Sufi story of the warrior and his bride?  (from Chapter 2)

By trusting life, we accept What IS, quieting the conflict in the monkey-mind and freeing us to observe and then act from Pure Awareness, which will be for the highest good of all.  Operating for the highest good of all also takes us to the next level:  Life is not just about us at an individual level, but as living beings we are all connected in a very intimate way.  For that reason, operating for the highest good of all is something to strive for.

By trusting, we marry our free will with the Divine, knowing that we are taken care of.  We are not alone in our worries or our struggles.  We are never alone.

You are never alone.

why trust is important

I have attempted to explain in words what is a knowing within me.  I encourage you to add to these concepts, question them, mold them and make them yours, changing the verbiage to suit your taste.  In doing so, you will land on your Truth, something that resonates and works for you.

Take a moment to consider how you typically approach life.  Which side of the cattle guard do you tend to hang out on?  The What IF side or the What IS side?  Depending where you are on the spectrum will immediately tell you what your beliefs are about how trust works.  And by the way, this has nothing to do with religion.  You may be the most religious person out there, attending every mass and service offered, yet between each mass, each service — maybe even during each one — you’re worrying about all of the What IFs in your life.  Becoming aware and accepting What IS is a spiritual belief and practice that anyone can adopt, regardless of religious beliefs.

 

why should we trust life

If you enjoyed this excerpt and are interested in learning more about trusting life, please subscribe to receive your weekly dose of love and trust.  I’ll never spam you — only sending you posts I hope will inspire and ignite your heart.  Love, Leslie

Connect with me on:

Facebook

Pinterest

Amazon, recently released book and HOLIDAY GIFT PICK:  Love, Trust & Pixie Dust

Book Cover-3D small

Has This All Been About Letting Go?

letting go“What is this precious love and laughter
budding in our hearts?
It is the sound of
a soul waking up!
Even after all this time,
the sun never says to the earth,
“You owe me.”
Look what happens
with a love like that,
It lights up the whole sky.”

~Hafiz

My Soul Woke Up

I started a series on addiction five weeks ago, with the post “Do You Know Why Managing Addiction Doesn’t Work?”  Throughout the five weeks, we did some visiting with our Pooh friends (mostly Rabbit and Tigger) and we did a whole lot of LOSING things.  But here’s the thing, I didn’t set out to write a series on anything.  And I sure didn’t set out to inspect my internal landscape in such a way that I would become unrecognizable to myself.

My internal landscape had become overgrown with weeds.  It wasn’t until I suggested to you that together we lose our disciplined approach, our masks, our adult-like tendencies…that I truly started to regain myself.  See, I had planted so many self-imposed expectations, only to reap stagnation.

Then my soul woke up.

I had planned on using the Hafiz poem above in last week’s post, but I pulled it as soon as I heard Wayne Dyer quote it on stage.  I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Dyer speak at a conference last weekend, and my gut told me to pull the poem as soon as I heard him speak it.  There was something I was supposed to sit with in that poem.  Continue Reading