Trust Life Today

Do You Struggle With Goodbyes?

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Practicing Goodbyes

A friend recently sent me some of his favorite Richard Bach quotes. Among them was this one:

“Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. 

And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”

Like you, I’m not crazy about goodbyes. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at them, but I sometimes wonder if it’s only been through sheer practice. Is that how the military kids I grew up with dealt with goodbyes? Through practice?

Or, is there a different mind-set that helps us through goodbyes? Like so many aspects in our lives, is it more a matter of how we choose to think about a given situation? How we choose to perceive our reality?

Shift in Perception

Take a second to re-read the quote, absorb it:

“Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”

After a few go’s at the quote, I noticed a shift in perception. What did it for me was the second sentence:

“A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.”

Oh! Okay, I see. In order to rejoice in meeting again, there must first be a farewell. A stop and a start. An end and a beginning.

Essentially, when we kiss our kids good-night, we’re giving them a farewell, a practice we start when they’re infants. Of course, they are just in another room, but this act of ‘farewell’ leads to an opportunity to meet them again, the following morning. The same occurs with our partners when we go our separate ways in the morning.

This quote reaches a crescendo with the last sentence, “And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” Think about that. Moments or lifetimes. For those who are friends.

Moments and Lifetime Feelings

I’ve experienced moments, mere seconds, away from a beloved friend that have felt like a lifetime—as if the second the door shut behind them, I already yearned for their return. It’s a lot like my yellow Lab. I can leave the house for a moment, say, to check the mail, and return to a dog who acts as if I’ve been gone years. She’s genuinely over-the-moon to see me. On the other hand, I’ve spent a lifetime away from certain friends, only to reconnect decades later and have it feel as if we had seen one other yesterday.

For all of us, we have experienced these moments and lifetime feelings.

Instead of being dismayed by goodbyes, perhaps our focus should lie in the rejoicing of meeting again. I like that. Thinking about goodbyes in this context brings me comfort.

But what if there’s still more….

No Such Thing as Goodbye

What if there are NO goodbyes among friends? I’m not talking about acquaintances here, I’m talking about *friends*. Those special souls with whom you’ve formed a heart-connection. Whether this connection is formed in person, over the phone, through emails, back and forth in texts, or even after a one time meeting. Regardless of how they’re formed, true connections exist. And when these friends truly dwell in your heart, are you ever really separated? I believe the answer is NO.

My hope is that your heart holds such friends—and holds them in such a way that you don’t feel separated by distance, but instead, you feel the Oneness that connects us all.

goodbye

Doug, thank you for sending the Bach quotes. You, my friend, dwell in my heart.

Thank you Friends, especially to those who See me. Those who have been in my life for Moments AND a Lifetime. As I prepare to move my family halfway across the country, I know there is no goodbye among friends.

goodbye

I hope you’ve enjoyed this post. Do you know someone who could benefit from tapping in to more love and trust? Don’t be shy, please share this with them. You never know, this might be just the thing they’ve been searching for!

glass half full

Spreading Love and Goodness Continues!

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Less than a month ago I posted the article “Feeling Oneness.”  In it I shared how people from all over the world were posting loving, encouraging notes in random places for others to find on a specific date.

After that post, I received several messages from people saying that they had ‘missed the date.’

To which I responded, “No such thing!!”

Day before yesterday, while sitting at a drive-thru waiting for my favorite treat on Earth (Bubble Tea!!), I received the following text from a girlfriend in Virginia:

“Look what I just found in the bathroom at Panera, made me think of u!!”

Friends, you can post a note any day, any time, any place!  (And when you find one, grab your phone, take a pic, and text it to someone you love!)  :-)

Go forth and POST WITH LOVE!!

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Thank you, BQB.  Between your text and my bubble tea, I was in sheer Heaven!  You made my day!!!

See Me as Whole. Leslie’s Healing

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Sitting…sitting…sitting. Writing, backspace/delete. More writing, more backspace/delete.  20 minutes later…still sitting. I know exactly what I want to write, but for once, I have no idea how to start. Okay, dive in.

A little over two weeks ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I found no lump. I was simply going in for my first mammogram.  That’s right: no lump, first mammogram.

There Was No Lump

I decided to start today’s article with the facts, urging those of you who have put off having a mammogram because you haven’t felt anything through your monthly self examination, to please reconsider. As I stated, I felt no lump because there was no lump. There are different types of breast cancer, and the type I have been diagnosed with is located within the ducts, therefore cannot be felt. It’s most commonly referred to as DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ), of which there are different grades and subtypes. Without getting into too much detail, my subtype is called Micropapillary DCIS, which is referred to as the “bad acting DCIS” and therefore treated aggressively.

One of the many pieces of good news is that it was caught early! And how fortunate, in this day and age, that within these two+ weeks, I have been able to meet with a multitude of surgeons, complete more tests and evaluations than I’d care to recap, and still manage to take an abbreviated family vacation and another short girl’s weekend getaway.

Life goes on, as it should, and must. This is merely a blip, as my friend so eloquently put it, “Your natural state is perfection and this is a small blip on your way back to perfection.” Thank you, Anne.

This, I can assure you: I am not worried. Apprehensive yes, as this is a new experience for me. But worried? No. I am precisely where I’m supposed to be and I’ve categorically chosen the exact surgeons to form my team of healing. This team came together in a unique and organic way to support me and ensure my physical and emotional health. But the blessings began well before the medical team was in place.

Meet Faith

A few years ago I became part of a group of women with a common desire to study FAITH (Finding Authenticity, Integrity, Truth, and Harmony), hence, the name of the group. Through their collective love and spirit, as well as the love and support from my family and other dear friends, I felt I was already ahead of the curve when my radiologist delivered the news to me. All of the studying I’ve done throughout the years on Trust, on Spirituality, on Understanding What Is — it has all prepared me for today, a place where I stand strong and confident in spirit, yet (finally) wise enough to know that it’s okay to be vulnerable and cry, too.

So it was only fitting when I ran into my radiologist’s office to pick up my mammogram films, that the doctor took me aside, and as we embraced, she placed “‘Faith the Lamb” in my arms.

breast cancer

Faith the Lamb

Faith is also an acronym, although not spelled in all caps. Her name stands for Friends Always In The Heart. She came about by one of my radiologist’s patients years ago. To this day, my doctor lovingly hands out Faith the Lamb to all of her newly diagnosed breast cancer patients, along with a little piece of her heart as she speaks candidly with you.

Attached to Faith’s ear was this tag (which I now keep in my wallet):

breast cancer

It’s as if the events of my life have sandwiched me between FAITH and Faith. What an incredibly blessed and fortunate woman I am.

In an effort to honor that blessing, I have chosen to share as many lessons as are appropriate with you all here, through my writing. I will not be accepting phone calls or responding to emails or texts about this subject, as I commit to only breathe positivity into this healing experience. And although answering questions may appear to be a neutral act, my experience thus far has been that it’s extremely draining for me.

I want each one of you to know how grateful I am, knowing many of you will be sending me prayers, love, light, and healing energy. For that, I Thank You.

During these next months, as I live and breathe true Trust, I ask one thing of you, and one thing only:

See Me as Whole, as Healed.

See me as whole and healed, in the present tense. I ask that you see me as whole and healed now.  As if it is already done.

Love, Leslie

~~~~

Mammograms are essential for early detection. Please post this message on your Facebook wall or forward the email if you receive it in that format; women should be made aware that self exams are not enough. This 41 year old felt no lump. There was no lump.

If you’re in the Dallas area (Richardson, TX), here is a direct link to my radiologist. Dr. Elizabeth Jekot is a bright, caring, and very thorough doctor. She and her staff will take excellent care of you, no matter if this is your first mammogram or your 50th.

 

Never Forget Where You Come From

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To start this story off right, let me introduce you to our main character.  In a previous article I mentioned a very wise person I had spoken to about Trust Life; how he had shared his thoughts about “If God has a soul, it would be life,” and his expansion on that.  I also mentioned that this person happened to be eight years old and his parents had asked me to keep his name private.  But we have to call him something, so I decided to talk to him about it.

I had the opportunity to speak to him last week.  I told him that I would be writing about some of our conversations every now and then on my blog.  I also explained how I wouldn’t be calling him by his real name, but instead by a different name.  He asked what name I was thinking of using.  I told him Sam, to which he twisted his face into a look of immediate rejection.  “Okay then, what would you like to be called?” I asked.  “Red Fox,” he said, with no hesitation.  “If it’s going to be like a code name, it needs to sound like a code name.  Yep.  Red Fox works.”  To which I laughed out loud.  I said he is wise, and yes he is, but let’s not forget, he is only eight years old.  Nice reminder there, Red Fox.  Thanks for that.

And so our story begins.  It was during a very hot day last summer, I went outdoors to bring drinks to my boys, who were playing outside with some neighborhood kids.  I noticed Red Fox, a little off to the side, not completely engaged with the other children… contemplating something no doubt.  I caught his eye to say hello and he made a bee-line directly toward me and said, “I need to ask you a question.”

“Alright,” I responded.  “Shoot.”

“Who is Mel Gibson?”

A bit surprised by the random nature of the question, I responded with a straight forward, “He’s an actor.”

“What has he been in?  I mean, where would I have seen him?”

“Well, I don’t know,” I began.  “Off the top of my head, I can’t think of any voices he’s done for any kid’s movies — maybe you haven’t seen him in anything.  Anyway, he’s a famous actor.  Why do you ask?”

Disregarding my question, he plowed forward with another question of his own.  “Why’s he all over the news right now?”

Hmmm…. not knowing how appropriate it would be to disclose information about the whole ugliness that was going on, I simply answered, “He has recently made some very poor choices.”

“Who has?” came an unfamiliar voice.

Whew, it was his father’s voice.  Good.  He could explain, which he proceeded to do, in very simple terms, not going into too much detail, but enough detail for this eight year old to get the gist of it.

Moments after the brief explanation, the father walked off and I was left looking at a little boy whose inner wheels were obviously working hard to comprehend.  I remember feeling badly that I couldn’t go into more detail;  he so clearly wanted to understand.

As the following conversation unfolded, it became apparent to me that he had not only gotten the gist of it, he had also understood so much more.

With eyebrows furrowed, he asked, “Where does this Mel Gibson live?”

“Well, Hollywood, I guess.  Maybe New York.  I’m not sure.  Why?”

Again, he disregarded my ‘why’, and barreled ahead with, “Are people actually from Hollywood?  I mean, these actors like Mel Gibson.  Is he from there or is he from somewhere else?”

“No, I don’t think most actors are actually from Hollywood,” I replied.  “I believe Mel Gibson is from Australia.”

And at that moment, I saw the light bulb go off.  He had pieced it together in his mind, at which point, he very matter-of-factly stated, “Oh.  I see.  He has forgotten where he came from.”

As I gazed down at Red Fox, with what I’m guessing must have been a blank or puzzled expression, he continued,  “Maybe he needs to go home so he can remember who he is.”

And with that, my dear little friend Red Fox was satisfied;  he walked off to play with the others.

Nice insight.  May none of us forget where we come from.

 

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