Over the years I’ve heard myself apologize for some pretty silly things. Even today, as someone bumped into me, I found myself saying, “Oh, excuse me.”
I realize I do this out of politeness, out of some sort of decorum I was raised to believe is befitting for women.
I must admit, I like good manners in others. I like being around polite people. However, in the same breath I can assure you I’d rather be around a matter-of-fact, direct person who is lacking in the tact department, than a phony, polite one.
That said, I wonder, do we (women in particular) at times go overboard in our politeness? In our effort not to offend, have we swung the pendulum so far over to the other side that we’re not speaking the truth of who we are? And, if that’s the case, then isn’t that being phony?
I believe the answer is yes. And I’m not particularly comfortable with being phony. Yet, with this whole polite thing, sometimes I do believe I go overboard, and yes, in those instances, I feel phony.
Question: So, how do I remedy this? If this is an issue for you, how do you remedy it?
Answer: Tap into the feeling you have. Words are words, we speak them all the time. Sometimes we mean them, and unfortunately, sometimes we don’t. However, the feeling behind the words is what’s true.
If you are able to recognize the feeling behind the words, you’ll know immediately. Then ask yourself, are you okay with the way the words you just spoke made you feel? If your response is yes, then great, look no further. If your response is no, change your words the next time and try again.
The feeling will not steer you wrong. And the cool thing is, the more you listen to the feeling and are able to decipher the message, the easier it becomes to be Real across the board, in all situations, IN LIFE.
Similar, yet not a direct parallel to today’s TLT article, is a wonderful quote by Benjamin Disraeli, former Prime Minister of England:
“Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for truth.” ~ Benjamin Disraeli