Trusting Can Be So #!?!@#!

The thing that sucks about writing/talking about trust for a living is when trusting simply becomes #!?!@#! Take this morning: I was on the phone with my credit card company, followed by the wireless phone company for over two hours. OVER TWO HOURS I tell you! Finally (maybe) everything is PART WAY resolved. After I got off the phone and rubbed my red, hot ear, I decided only one thing would suffice: it was time to throw a toddler tantrum—kick, scream, the works!

But no…there was this calm, serene voice that said, “Remember, everything happens for a reason. Look for the lesson. Don’t get angry over the situation. Anger doesn’t help.” Blah, blah, blah…. Shut up already! I am angry!

Well, maybe not angry. Annoyed. SUPER annoyed!

Smudged Trust


There was suspected fraud on my credit card, not even actual fraud. Suspected fraud, what does that even mean? Steven, Fraud Supervisor, explained it to me (which made sense at the time…and totally evades me now).

This suspected fraud has led to a to-do list that is longer than Santa’s “good-list” on his best year. And oh!…the time I’m sure to spend completing this to-do list! I won’t go into details, mostly because you have your own annoying day-to-day issues to deal with; you don’t need to hear about mine. Besides, my day is not busier nor is my time more valuable than yours—yet it is this perceived loss of time I am so annoyed about.  Continue Reading

A World Without War?

world without war

In our last post, “What’s In a Label?” we explored why we assign (and accept) labels that are thrust upon us.  I wrote:

“The real question to ask here is:  Which labels will you choose to own and which ones do not belong to you?

That’s a good question…a good starting question.  But there’s more.  There are bigger questions/topics to ponder relating to labels—and that’s where we begin today.

Question This:

What if we refused to own (or assign) ANY labels?  What would our world look like with NO labels?  Zero labels.  Is there such a thing as a “good” label?  Does this line of questioning sound boring?  Were you hoping for something a bit more exciting?  Something with explosions? Continue Reading

Experience a Little Heaven on Earth

If you want to learn something, read about it. If you want to understand something, write about it. If you want to master something, teach it.”

~ Yogi Bhajan

Yep, that just about sums up the path I’m on with trust.  I began reading about trust (trust and faith really, their subtle differences, meanings, nuances) many years ago.  Shortly after, I started writing about it, but only for myself.  Then, over three years ago I started publicly writing about trust here on Trust Life Today, followed by teaching individuals first, then later groups.

As linear of an approach as it may sound — read, write, teach — what I’ve found is now that I’m at the teaching stage of trust, I continue to read and write about it.  I still study, contemplate, question, and even meditate on trust.  Although I’ve written posts about why people don’t trust, I constantly find it surprising when they don’t.  Until one day, in the midst of life, I find myself there too, not trusting.

And then I’m reminded — trust isn’t something I have mastered, it is a daily practice.  Trust is a practice I’ve chosen to embrace.  Why?  Because my breathing slows down to a calm, steady rhythm when I trust.  Because my hot female, Mexican, Taurus, Pitta dosha, Enneagram 8, Chinese symbol fire, who-knows-what-label, does not flare as quickly when I trust.  Because I get better sleep at night when I trust.

Because I show myself and the world the best of me.
Because I feel God within me.
Because I feel peace.

Because the peace that comes from trusting feels like a little slice of Heaven on Earth to me. 

And I want more peace in my life, more God in my life, more of my best-self to show up every day in my life, and definitely more Heaven on Earth in my life.  So I have cultivated a practice of trust, and I do just that, I practice.

And I screw up.

There are times I forget what it means to trust, and to have faith, and to love myself.  I simply forget.  I slip into old patterns and behaviors.

Then…after I’m done beating myself up over the screw up, when I’m finally able to be still and quiet within my heart and mind, I give thanks.

Unfortunately, I often allow my life to become so fast and frenetic, I rush to the next thing, then the next, never stopping to realize that the irksome feeling hovering over my head like a dark, Eeyore-cloud, is actually me continuing to beat myself up unconsciously.  It is not until I slow down enough to quiet my mind and tune into my heart that I see the screw up for what it is:  an opportunity to forgive myself, to learn from the experience, to practice self-compassion, perhaps even to provide comfort or to empathize with my neighbor who may share with me something similar as we both “coincidentally” meet at our mailboxes next week, month, or year.  Glance over the previous sentence, and you will find between each comma lies the reasons I give thanks for the quote-unquote-screw-up.

Heaven on EarthIn the giving of thanks, on an energetic level I feel restored, like my inner-balance-scale had been horribly askew, and now it has settled back to the middle, not tilting one way or the other.  In that horizontal plane of my inner-scale, my practice of trust begins again.  The experience of Heaven on Earth gently nudges me and I close my eyes and smile.

From where you’re sitting and reading today’s post, you may be thinking, Right on!  I can do this!  A daily practice of trust is totally within me!  Or, you may be thinking, Is she f-ing kidding me?  She has no idea what I’m going through and if she only had a clue, she would know trust is impossible, completely impossible.  Or maybe your pendulum is swinging back and forth between the two.  Wherever you are on your path, stop now and honor it.  It is your truth.  Own it.  Then ask yourself,  Why can’t I experience a little Heaven on Earth?  Close your eyes, smile, and know you can.  Even if you think you can’t, you can.

What’s Next

Join me next week, as I talk to the group in the second bucket above, the “it’s impossible to trust” bucket.  Tune in if this is you.  If it’s not you, chances are you know someone in this bucket; consider sharing this post with them in the hopes it will get their juices flowing and prepared for what’s to come.  I look forward to seeing you next week.

In love and trust,

fall in love with life

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Amazon, recently released book:  Love, Trust & Pixie Dust

Book Cover-3D small

An Offering For Your Beloved

What do all of these questions have in common?

What cures insomnia?
Why trust at all?
What do people want in life more than anything else?
What one thing do I wish most for my children?  What one thing do I wish most for anyone I love?

Drumroll please….  Answer:  Inner Peace!  What??  Not sexy enough for you?  Not exciting enough?  Maybe not even exciting enough to warrant an “!”  Or earth shattering enough to wake you in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, screaming, “I need more peace in my life!”  No.  That’s not how peace rolls.  Peace is one of those things that falls in the “out of sight – out of mind” category, similar to the foundation of your house.  But without it, well, your house won’t last very long as the strong, stable structure you’ve grown to rely on to support your outer needs.  Peace, my friends, is what supports your inner-most needs.  And for that reason, I find it sexy and exciting as hell, regardless of its knack for subtlety.

Here’s What I Know about Inner Peace:

  • peace is a present-moment-thing, it occurs in the here and now
  • therefore, don’t go chasing after peace, it isn’t a good idea since it’s not a future event
  • similarly, you may have had peace in your past, but if you don’t feel it now, in your present, there’s no use longing or lamenting, you’re just wasting your time
  • when you feel peace in your present, acknowledge it, honor it — find ways to celebrate it
  • the more you trust yourself, the more you will experience peace
  • my belief that the Divine lives within each of us, allows me to trust with all of my heart and mind — bringing more inner peace in my life.  This can work for you, too.
  • peace and inner conflict cannot exist simultaneously
  • peace does not necessarily mean quiet
  • once I learned how trust works, peace entered my life, and the insomnia I battled off and on for nearly 20 years exited my life

inner peace

Peace Can Look Different For Each of Us

So what exactly does peace look like?  Feel like?  I’m sure you’ve felt it before.  But to describe it, I’d say for me:

  • Looking deeply into my eyes in the mirror and seeing someone who has learned to appreciate her outer beauty, as well as her inner beauty feels like peace.
  • Sipping my cuppa tea with a still mind, I feel peace.
  • Being gentle with myself, especially since I would never invite someone back into my life who spoke as harshly to me as I sometimes speak to myself. When I get it right, and am gentle with myself, I feel peace.
  • Observing the rise and fall of my boys’ torsos as they sleep, and realizing I’ve unconsciously been matching their breathing, feels like peace.
  • The expression on my yellow Lab’s face 99.9% of the time looks like peace.

Ultimately, inner peace feels like a calming in your heart.

That’s what I know about peace.  That’s how peace looks and feels to me.  Desirous, grounding, alive, freeing, and yes, even sexy and exciting, all at the same time.  How about you?  What do you know about peace?  How does it look and feel in your life?  Leave a comment below — I’d love to hear your examples.

If you’re running low on examples, and this post has brought to your attention that you very seldom feel peace in your life, start small: maybe sit still and watch the rise and fall of your abdomen, and do nothing else, think nothing else.  Simply observe the rise and fall for 60 seconds.  You, yes you, as busy as you are, have 1 minute.

Love yourself enough to support your inner-most needs by offering your Beloved (YOU) 60 seconds of inner peace right now.

inner peace

The following picture of my son inspired the article, “Today I Feel Peace Like That.”  If you’re new to Trust Life Today, I encourage you to click here for an extra dose of Peace — a true story of a morning that would have normally been filled with fear.


inner peace

~ the image of peace ~


If you enjoyed reading today’s post, please Share.  You never know, this could be *just* the thing someone is in need of today.  Love, Leslie