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Zen Teacher: “Richard from Texas”

February 8, 2012 by Leslie Green Leave a Comment

Sticking with inspiration from Elizabeth Gilbert (Monday’s post: Selfish, Selfish, Selfish!), today I’m throwing Richard from Texas into the mix.  Those who read Eat, Pray, Love immediately know the character who’s referred to as ‘Richard from Texas.‘  If you haven’t read the book, picture Total Zen Dude meets Southern Gentleman, Texan accent and everything.

Without giving anything away, I think it’s safe to say that anyone who’s heard of the book knows it’s about Gilbert’s journey to herself.  The book is broken into thirds and it’s at her second destination that she meets Richard at an ashram in India.

Classic Richard from Texas

I once heard Gilbert tell a story during an interview of how she was bearing her soul to Richard, lamenting the break-up she had had with a boyfriend.  She was saying, “Oh, I wish this, and I wish that….”  On and on.  When she was done, Richard very matter-of-factly said:

“Groceries,” (as she was affectionately called by him), “You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughta be.”

Talk about cutting to the point!  Said so cleverly and with his unique humor, and still with such directness and honesty, I can only imagine those words snapped her out of her stupor.

Richard from Texas with Groceries

 

I gotta tell you, as much as I scramble around day-to-day to jot down quotes that speak to me, that’s one quote I did NOT have to write down.

How often do we wear our wishbone where our backbone ought to be?  How often do we just plain wear that wishbone OUT?!!?

Well, I have what I believe is an answer to that.  I think we use our wishbone over our backbone in direct proportion to how much we Trust.  (Did you see that one coming?  Come on!  I know you did!!  This is Trust Life Today you’re reading, folks!)  :-)

Seriously now.  The more we wish, and I’m talking about the kind of wishing that has no action behind it, the kind that is just one step away from the prayer that turns into begging (you know the kind) – – the less we Trust.

Using our backbone first however, implies Trusting ourselves, a Trust that comes from within.

Using our backbone over our wishbone doesn’t mean that we always know exactly what to do, by the way.  The right course of action at that moment might be to do nothing, to wait.  It might be to ask for help.  But beginning from our backbone over our wishbone offers us a real vantage point.  We are leading from a position of strength.

And where does this strength come from?  When I say Trust comes from within, I don’t want you to hear me say it’s all Me, Me, Me.  No, no, no….  The strength to lead from our backbone comes from KNOWING YOU ARE TAKEN CARE OF.  By who, you ask?  By God, Our Creator, the Universe, whatever language sits well with you, but it’s that Force, that Greater Force Than I, that lives within me, that lives within you, which provides the strength I spoke of.  Provides Faith.  Provides Trust.

You are stronger than you know.

Put that backbone to good use.

Richard from Texas

Richard Vogt (1947 – 2010)

instant attraction

I hope you enjoyed today’s post.  If you haven’t signed up for your weekly dose of Love and Trust, please do!  I’ll only send you original posts I hope will inspire and ignite your heart.

Love,
Leslie

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Selfish, Selfish, Selfish!

February 6, 2012 by Leslie Green 2 Comments

Elizabeth Gilbert on Selfish

Several years ago I saw Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love, speak in Dallas.  She was absolutely mesmerizing.  She was smart, funny, articulate, and if you looked closely, I swear you could see her mind working;  there was a quickness and spark that was almost visible, even from way in the back.

Someone in the audience asked her to share her thoughts on the word selfish.  After all, many of her critics claimed that only a selfish person could take such an extravagant journey as Gilbert describes in Eat, Pray, Love.  I could have sworn by the grin on her face, she had been anticipating that question.  It was one of those telling grins that said, Hold on to your hats, audience!

I felt myself wanting to slowly rub my hands together and let out a low, sinister laugh.  See, I’d known for years that being selfish wasn’t always a bad thing.  And now, I had the feeling that someone, someone famous, was about to validate my belief!

What funny, personal story would she tell?  As I was preparing for a good laugh, she went in a totally different direction.  Quick as a whip, she spouted off this fact:

“In Mandarin Chinese, they have two words for selfish.  One means doing that which is beneficial to you and the other means hoarding, greedy, and cruel.  We, in English, have pushed those two words together.”

Shocked by the simplicity of her response, the cleverness, and the poignancy, it has stuck with me all these years.

Why don’t we in English have a separate word for selfish, specifically used in the context of being beneficial to us?  I mean, isn’t it similar to the airplane example we often hear:  place the oxygen mask on ourselves first, then place one on our children?  Those are specific instructions we’re given each time we take a flight.  No one would think we’re selfish for following those directions, they’re considered life saving.

In our culture, our language, why is the word selfish merged with the greedy/hoarding sense of the word exclusively?

The Spiritual Side to Selfish

My guess is, if you read this blog on a regular basis, you are a Seeker of Truth.  And with being a Truth Seeker, you already know there are two sides to selfish, no Mandarin Chinese needed.  However, we are still human, and with that, it’s easy to fall into the habit of thinking S=selfish is purely “bad.”

How about every once in a while, you fully embrace being the center of the world? 

How about seeking more ways that exemplify putting the oxygen mask on yourself first?


Selfish Me

Selfish or Truth and Honesty?

Selfish by Marilyn Monroe

And Lastly, a Few Favorite Selfish Quotes:

Most fitting quote for today’s TLT post:  “Nothing resembles selfishness more closely than self-respect.”  ~ George Sand

Made me laugh out loud:  “Selfishness is a bad habit. That’s why I always rationally think through my decisions to act without regard for others.”  ~ Benson Bruno

Made me think of myself AND laugh out loud:  “I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea.”   ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground

selfish

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Love,
Leslie

 

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Leslie I understand that for many, Trust does not come easy. It falls into the black-hole called "Easier-Said-Than-Done." And here is why: Because as children, most of us learned the exact opposite of how trust works.                Continue reading >>

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