Experience a Little Heaven on Earth

If you want to learn something, read about it. If you want to understand something, write about it. If you want to master something, teach it.”

~ Yogi Bhajan

Yep, that just about sums up the path I’m on with trust.  I began reading about trust (trust and faith really, their subtle differences, meanings, nuances) many years ago.  Shortly after, I started writing about it, but only for myself.  Then, over three years ago I started publicly writing about trust here on Trust Life Today, followed by teaching individuals first, then later groups.

As linear of an approach as it may sound — read, write, teach — what I’ve found is now that I’m at the teaching stage of trust, I continue to read and write about it.  I still study, contemplate, question, and even meditate on trust.  Although I’ve written posts about why people don’t trust, I constantly find it surprising when they don’t.  Until one day, in the midst of life, I find myself there too, not trusting.

And then I’m reminded — trust isn’t something I have mastered, it is a daily practice.  Trust is a practice I’ve chosen to embrace.  Why?  Because my breathing slows down to a calm, steady rhythm when I trust.  Because my hot female, Mexican, Taurus, Pitta dosha, Enneagram 8, Chinese symbol fire, who-knows-what-label, does not flare as quickly when I trust.  Because I get better sleep at night when I trust.

Because I show myself and the world the best of me.
Because I feel God within me.
Because I feel peace.

Because the peace that comes from trusting feels like a little slice of Heaven on Earth to me. 

And I want more peace in my life, more God in my life, more of my best-self to show up every day in my life, and definitely more Heaven on Earth in my life.  So I have cultivated a practice of trust, and I do just that, I practice.

And I screw up.

There are times I forget what it means to trust, and to have faith, and to love myself.  I simply forget.  I slip into old patterns and behaviors.

Then…after I’m done beating myself up over the screw up, when I’m finally able to be still and quiet within my heart and mind, I give thanks.

Unfortunately, I often allow my life to become so fast and frenetic, I rush to the next thing, then the next, never stopping to realize that the irksome feeling hovering over my head like a dark, Eeyore-cloud, is actually me continuing to beat myself up unconsciously.  It is not until I slow down enough to quiet my mind and tune into my heart that I see the screw up for what it is:  an opportunity to forgive myself, to learn from the experience, to practice self-compassion, perhaps even to provide comfort or to empathize with my neighbor who may share with me something similar as we both “coincidentally” meet at our mailboxes next week, month, or year.  Glance over the previous sentence, and you will find between each comma lies the reasons I give thanks for the quote-unquote-screw-up.

Heaven on EarthIn the giving of thanks, on an energetic level I feel restored, like my inner-balance-scale had been horribly askew, and now it has settled back to the middle, not tilting one way or the other.  In that horizontal plane of my inner-scale, my practice of trust begins again.  The experience of Heaven on Earth gently nudges me and I close my eyes and smile.

From where you’re sitting and reading today’s post, you may be thinking, Right on!  I can do this!  A daily practice of trust is totally within me!  Or, you may be thinking, Is she f-ing kidding me?  She has no idea what I’m going through and if she only had a clue, she would know trust is impossible, completely impossible.  Or maybe your pendulum is swinging back and forth between the two.  Wherever you are on your path, stop now and honor it.  It is your truth.  Own it.  Then ask yourself,  Why can’t I experience a little Heaven on Earth?  Close your eyes, smile, and know you can.  Even if you think you can’t, you can.

What’s Next

Join me next week, as I talk to the group in the second bucket above, the “it’s impossible to trust” bucket.  Tune in if this is you.  If it’s not you, chances are you know someone in this bucket; consider sharing this post with them in the hopes it will get their juices flowing and prepared for what’s to come.  I look forward to seeing you next week.

In love and trust,

fall in love with life

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Amazon, recently released book:  Love, Trust & Pixie Dust

Book Cover-3D small

It’s a Girl!

Last Night I Gave Birth

I gave birth last night!  I’m happy to report she weighs a whopping 10.9—yes, you read correctly, 10.9 ounces!  ;-)

Her name is Love, Trust & Pixie Dust, and although giddy as I may seem right now, I cannot tell you the solemn silence and tears of joy that flowed when I finally held her in my hands.  (Or the wide-eyes and crouched position the UPS man assumed when it appeared that a nut was flying out of her house, lunging at him in full-tackle-mode to greet her blue, bouncing-baby-book!)

love trust and pixie dust

The stories I share within this book are all true.  They are stories that I believe I was meant to live in order to share them with others—those others who are interested in learning how to love themselves and trust themselves.  And naturally, learn to love and trust others.  But it begins from within first, so that’s where I started—from within.

Many of the stories I share in the book can be found here on my blog, however I have edited so many of them until they are almost unrecognizable—only the hint of a feeling may remind you that you’ve read it in the past.  I also included new stories and present the old with the new in such a way that the stories flow like a book, not simply a bunch of blog posts strung together.  I wanted to deliver more, to provide true stories that illustrate how we can all experience peace through learning how to love, trust, and let go.

This is truly my finest work.  I’m excited about the book’s potential to help others who are interested in having more peace in their lives.  And I was hoping you could help me spread the word about the book.  I’m not interested in some huge mass-marketing effort that feels sterile, targeting every Tom, Dick, and Harry.  What I’m interested in is Love, Trust & Pixie Dust winding up in the hands of people who would benefit from it.  People who have ever asked the questions, “Why me?  Why is this happening to me?”—that is who I wrote this book for and that’s exactly who I hope it will find.

Will you please help me spread the word by sharing in whatever way you feel comfortable?  Thank you so much for helping me introduce my baby to the world!

Trusting it will land exactly where it’s meant to….



love trust and pixie dust






For paperback version, click here.

For Kindle ebook (or Kindle app on iPad), click here.

A Private Love Affair

love affairI woke up yesterday morning with a smile on my face before I even remembered why I was smiling.  Subconsciously, I knew.  Consciously, I was still catching up.

Two years ago to the day, I did not wake with a smile on my face.  As my alarm sounded at 3:30 AM, I wasn’t really waking at all;  I had never completely fallen asleep.  No one in my house had really slept-slept that night, only half-slept.  The 3:30 bell was the official reminder that the day was real, there was business to take care of, and that business involved prayers, surgeons, and eventually a blessing in the form of pathology reports confirming that the cancer cells within my right breast had been eradicated.

The smile on my face when I awoke yesterday morning already knew the peace within—the peace someone knows without thinking, the peace when you remain still, silent, go within, and feel your pulse radiate the unspoken words:   All Is Well, All Is Well.  This is the kind of peace that feels a 2-year cancer-free anniversary before it completely registers on a cognitive level.

I gently opened my eyes, the smile already beginning to fade from my lips as it moved downward, tucking itself inside my heart.  And there my smile remained, for the rest of the day—through my morning Pilates class, through helping my son with his Spanish homework, through laundry and paying bills, through having friends over for a grilling-hamburgers-by-the-pool sort of evening.  My smile remained in my heart, not prepared to return to my lips—not in the form of words, at least.

No, I did not utter a word to acknowledge this special marker to anyone.  I couldn’t —I was having a private love affair with myself. Continue Reading

Know Thyself, Live With Your Rhythm

know thyselfKnow Thyself.

Be Authentically You.

We strive to know ourselves, right?  To be authentic.  I strive for that.  In the Scorpion and Frog fable I wrote about once upon a time, the scorpion ended up stinging the frog, despite his promises not to.  He was being his authentic self.  When the frog asked the scorpion why he did it, he simply responded, “I’m a scorpion;  it’s in my nature.”

Hmm…maybe for a scorpion, yes, but for humans?  Surely not.  That would mean whatever I say is my “nature,” I am pre-programmed to repeat, no matter how ardently I try to change.  If that were true, why bother?  I mean really, what a great excuse for never changing, for giving up, for not being accountable for anything.  And what a sham!  (Not to mention depressing.)

Let’s briefly look at the human brain, basic anatomy and physiology stuff:  neurons that fire together, wire together.  For those who are rusty on their A&P, what that means is the more we train our brains to learn a specific task (think: ride a bike, learn a new language, etc.), the more those neurons will fire.  And the more they fire, the more they wire together, hence, a task becomes easier the more we do it.  (Donna, are you horrified by my explanation?  Yours was MUCH better and more thorough in class!)

Luckily, You Are More Than Your Brain

Human brain aside, now enter Spirit.  Enter will.  Enter pride.  Enter determination — perhaps the determination to NOT be just like your dad, or to BE just like your older brother, or the class clown, or fill in the blank.  Enter one of thousands of factors.  After considering the infinite possibilities of why we are the way we are, ‘Know thyself’ sounds both complex and nebulous, all at the same time.  When I think about it like that, I get lost.

But I don’t like being lost.  What I like are words.  And I like listening to others’ words, especially when they come bearing beautiful phrases, like my friend Bay often does.  So when she said to me, “Leslie, live with your rhythm,” my heart immediately smiled.  And in the inner warmth I felt, I knew that a meaningful exchange had just taken place;  I had just received a gift.

After my friend and I hung up the phone, I allowed her words to roll around in my head for a few minutes while they made their way to my heart.  Live with my rhythm.  Live with my rhythm.  It felt similar to a heartbeat.  Or an inhale, exhale.  Strong, steady, and effortless.  Like a life force.

Living With My Rhythm has become a personal mantra.  It is synonymous with being my authentic self, with knowing myself, and ultimately, loving myself.  If my rhythm is sad, so it is.  If my rhythm is excited, so it is.  If my rhythm is tired, contemplative, hyper, so it is.  By living with my rhythm, I take my brain (left brain at least), out of the equation and allow myself to Be.  And in being, I feel an intimate connection with self.  I feel Trust on a God level that feels like pure love.

What is your rhythm?  Close your eyes, breathe in deeply.  Inhale.  Exhale.  Again.  Now, slowly, what do you feel?  Honor your feelings and breathe through each one as you live your rhythm.

know thyself

“Intimacy is being seen and known as the person you truly are.” ~ Amy Bloom

(especially, when being seen by yourself)

Love, Leslie