The following is a story from my friend Terry:
My husband Joe and I tried for years to have a baby. I had always dreamed of having a big family, being a stay at home mom, and raising happy, healthy children. I told people I was only going to college to find a nice boy, get married, and start a family. My friends thought I was crazy to go to college to find a husband, especially since I was a good student with a high GPA.
Two years after college I met Joe while working at NationsBank. So much for that part of my plan.
Anyway, back to the ‘trying to have a baby’ story. First, we did the normal way of trying…just having lots of sex. Although nice, after a year, still no baby. I then went to my OBGYN and was told to track my periods, take my temperature to determine the best time to conceive, and to have a lot of sex during those days. Three months later, still no baby. The doctor then started me on fertility drugs and had me use an ovulation kit, which is another way to track when you’re ovulating based on your urine. Again, no baby.
At this point, several of our friends were having babies, which was hard, but not nearly as hard as the couple of folks we knew having babies who didn’t plan on it, or in some instances, didn’t even want a baby! It was very frustrating.
Joe then went to a fertility specialist; they couldn’t find anything wrong with him. Then I went through an exploratory surgery to see if anything was wrong with me…nada. So why weren’t we having a baby?!!?
We then decided to try artificial insemination where they took Joe’s sperm and injected it into me in the “perfect” spot to conceive. We did that three separate times and no baby.
It had been five years of frustration, concern, anger, and all of the other emotions that come with this sort of experience. But never had we considered “letting go.” We just kept searching, knowing that the next ‘thing’ would surely be it. My plan was not working out.
We were now up to the decision of doing in vitro fertilization, where they take the sperm and egg and put them together. We thought long and hard, prayed about it, and decided to NOT do the IVF. Instead, we decided to, as you say, TRUST LIFE. We decided that since no one could find anything wrong with either of us and there was no medical reason why we shouldn’t be conceiving a child, then it was time to trust in God’s plan, whatever that might be.
At this point, although sad, I REALLY did accept it. I let go. Joe let go.
Two years later, after we had stopped everything (with the exception of having sex – – although we didn’t plan it around any ovulation timeframe), I felt “funny.” I thought it was a female issue, but certainly not that I was pregnant. My OBGYN, knowing my history, didn’t even consider it either. I had some stomach pain and just didn’t feel right. She thought I had irritable bowel syndrome and treated me for a urinary tract infection.
A week later nothing was better. My primary care doctor asked if we could do a pregnancy test. I told him my history and assured him that that wasn’t the cause. When he came back and said the test was positive, I thought he was joking.
He wasn’t joking, and he had an alarming look on his face. He thought I had a tubal pregnancy which was causing my pain. He called my OBGYN and I immediately went to her office so they could do an ultrasound. The drive over was the longest ever. I was crying because I was so surprised and happy to be pregnant, but terrified that it was again, not going to lead to a baby. I was so nervous that I didn’t even call Joe, I wanted to know what was going on first.
After arriving at the OBGYN’s office, I immediately was seen, and low and behold I saw my baby and heard the heartbeat. EVERYTHING was fine and I was eight weeks pregnant!!!
We didn’t want to know the sex of the baby, mostly to add to the wonder of this amazing miracle. Now here I am, a stay at home mom of a beautiful 6 year old girl in KINDERGARTEN!
Trust Life blog readers, I’d like to introduce you to Kaitlyn: