Do You Struggle With Goodbyes?

Practicing Goodbyes

A friend recently sent me some of his favorite Richard Bach quotes. Among them was this one:

“Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. 

And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”

Like you, I’m not crazy about goodbyes. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at them, but I sometimes wonder if it’s only been through sheer practice. Is that how the military kids I grew up with dealt with goodbyes? Through practice?

Or, is there a different mind-set that helps us through goodbyes? Like so many aspects in our lives, is it more a matter of how we choose to think about a given situation? How we choose to perceive our reality?

Shift in Perception

Take a second to re-read the quote, absorb it:

“Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”

After a few go’s at the quote, I noticed a shift in perception. What did it for me was the second sentence:

“A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.”

Oh! Okay, I see. In order to rejoice in meeting again, there must first be a farewell. A stop and a start. An end and a beginning.

Essentially, when we kiss our kids good-night, we’re giving them a farewell, a practice we start when they’re infants. Of course, they are just in another room, but this act of ‘farewell’ leads to an opportunity to meet them again, the following morning. The same occurs with our partners when we go our separate ways in the morning.

This quote reaches a crescendo with the last sentence, “And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” Think about that. Moments or lifetimes. For those who are friends.

Moments and Lifetime Feelings

I’ve experienced moments, mere seconds, away from a beloved friend that have felt like a lifetime—as if the second the door shut behind them, I already yearned for their return. It’s a lot like my yellow Lab. I can leave the house for a moment, say, to check the mail, and return to a dog who acts as if I’ve been gone years. She’s genuinely over-the-moon to see me. On the other hand, I’ve spent a lifetime away from certain friends, only to reconnect decades later and have it feel as if we had seen one other yesterday.

For all of us, we have experienced these moments and lifetime feelings.

Instead of being dismayed by goodbyes, perhaps our focus should lie in the rejoicing of meeting again. I like that. Thinking about goodbyes in this context brings me comfort.

But what if there’s still more….

No Such Thing as Goodbye

What if there are NO goodbyes among friends? I’m not talking about acquaintances here, I’m talking about *friends*. Those special souls with whom you’ve formed a heart-connection. Whether this connection is formed in person, over the phone, through emails, back and forth in texts, or even after a one time meeting. Regardless of how they’re formed, true connections exist. And when these friends truly dwell in your heart, are you ever really separated? I believe the answer is NO.

My hope is that your heart holds such friends—and holds them in such a way that you don’t feel separated by distance, but instead, you feel the Oneness that connects us all.


Doug, thank you for sending the Bach quotes. You, my friend, dwell in my heart.

Thank you Friends, especially to those who See me. Those who have been in my life for Moments AND a Lifetime. As I prepare to move my family halfway across the country, I know there is no goodbye among friends.


I hope you’ve enjoyed this post. Do you know someone who could benefit from tapping in to more love and trust? Don’t be shy, please share this with them. You never know, this might be just the thing they’ve been searching for!

glass half full

Continue On One’s Path, Move Forward, Journey

In the Native American Yuman language, Mii Amo means:

To continue on one’s path, moving forward, or journey.

During a recent trip to celebrate our health, a girlfriend and I visited the Mii Amo Spa, located in Sedona, Arizona.  What an ideal location to Celebrate-Self!

As we were getting settled into our room, we noticed scrolls on our beds.

Their contents set the tone for the quiet introspection that would follow:

Everything is as it should be and I recognize the perfection in my life daily.

Today, I will do my best and trust that is enough.

I am responsible for my attitude and I look for the good in everything.

I create my own reality, and I focus on what is good and right in my life and the world around me.

My positive attitude reflects in the people I come in contact with today.

I release my need to be a victim, realizing I always have a choice.

Opportunities abound for me always.

I release the need to please all of the people all of the time, and recognize it is enough to please myself.

(These intentions are to help guide your discoveries and the transformations you may make during your journey.)

Eight short lines.  Eight deep intentions.  Eight meaningful prayers.

What a beautiful way to start a journey.

What a beautiful way to Start. Each. Day. of your Life.

Love, Leslie

I hope you enjoyed today’s Friday-short and find it useful in your life.   I’m still incorporating this as a new habit — repeating these words each morning to set my intention for the day.

In order to dedicate more time to write a book, I’ve decreased the number of weekly TLT posts by one.  Please subscribe above, that way you won’t miss a beat!

Back to the Basics on This Whole ‘Holy Moly’ Thing

I’ve been in New York City since last Friday on our family vacation.  It was the best!  A first for our boys.  I found myself observing them — A LOT.  Not just to make sure they looked both ways before crossing the street (oh, they were so oblivious to big city traffic!), but to watch their reactions, to watch them as they took in the city.  As a parent, to observe them experience the city was my biggest joy.

So, why the nagging feeling in the back of my mind?  Yes, I was sure it was there, day and night.

It was all of the Holy Moly stuff that’s been plaguing my mind. I hadn’t been able to totally Let Go of it.  As much as I wanted to enjoy vacation, I can’t deny that this whole topic of our kids, their future, societal pressures, who they are growing up to be, what am I going to do about it?, ALL OF IT, was looming somewhere in the back of my mind.

As I crawled in bed, our last night there, all of these thoughts, along with the joy of the last several days swirling around in my head, made for quite a muddled soup… I reached for my phone and read the following email:

In response to your “Holy Moly” series

Raising a child is the most eye-awakening experience into one’s self.  I was prepared by who I believe is the most perfect mother ever, but I made choices through my teen and young adult years that may have had me in many places other than where I am today, and I was a GOOD kid!

All to say, as my mother did, I started preparing [my son] Elijah for this world as early as I can remember in an age-appropriate way: sex, drugs, alcohol, ‘bad touches’, racism (and all other types of ‘-isms’).  Understand, never did we talk about any of these things without including the humanity and goodness within others — none of us can get too far without others.

The themes I cherish most (and can go on and on about) are “village” and “journey.”  For the purpose of responding to your article, here’s where I see these themes fitting.


In raising my own children I’ve realized it wasn’t the perfection within my mother, but the perfection within my village, the same village still standing by me today and loving me regardless of my imperfections.  They guide me through storms even if just in their presence and not words (for some, in memory).  No parent, no matter how good they are, can raise a child by themselves.  Each person is complex and every person within the village gives a little something different, rounding out those rough edges and giving them a piece of confidence in the greatness within themselves.  I often say, You have to build them up very high because there are enough folks in this world chipping away at them saying “you can’t,” “you’re not good enough,” “your not smart enough.” — We need to give them something to have left over for them to build their confidence back up and hope they don’t drown their sorrows in unhealthy choices.


Through Elijah I’m learning it doesn’t matter how perfect I am, or how perfect his village, this life is HIS journey and NOT MINE.  You see, at one time or other, we all had feelings of being invincible, which is what gives us the courage to take wonderful chances as a child/teen/young adult we’d never try as an adult or have to be convinced to try (I love this about young people).  But this invincibility is also the thing allowing them to think the negative effects of drugs, alcohol, unprotected sex, etc will not happen to them.  All we can do as parents is to expect the best we believe our children can deliver.

Yes, expect the best, but then allow them to have their Journey and make their own choices, then pray (pray, pray and pray some more).

I was tested on this thought this year, and in the end I didn’t get the results I wanted through my intelligent teen son, but I was prepared for the worse and told him it was his choice (consequences included).  In the end, he made the right decision and I only pray the fact I stepped back is what gives him the confidence to continue to trust himself to make the right decisions through his journey and to know, Mommy has her own journey and God’s work to do.  God put me here to guide him, prepare him, teach him about himself, but not interfere.  This Journey right here, this is his journey to do God’s work.  If I interfere, how will he ever learn?  And if the Journey is hard — then I pray he will find his way out and testify with the right words to keep someone else in His light and on the right path of their Journey.

A lot said, but basically all we can do as parents is the best we know how, but when our children are presented with the worse, it is THEIR choice.  If we’ve done our best, we can’t blame ourselves and second guess the contents included in how we’ve raised them.

I’m most happy that with some of the ubber bad decisions I made, my Mom prayed for me (and still does).


Thank you, oh so very much, Shaunte, for sharing this with me and allowing me to share it with our TLT readers today.

The mothers we’ve heard from recently (click here for the previous mother’s story) have shared from the heart, exposing their truths, their fears, their strength, their vulnerabilities — themselves.  Through their very Real and raw disclosures, I see a theme and a reminder.


To Trust.  They both wrote of it.  And we all know, I write about it every day.  However, in the grips of Life, it’s sometimes easy to get ahead of ourselves, to want to DO something overt.  Doing something is fine (and I’m still noodling there — maybe a Trust Life Camp for kids??), but with a solid foundation of Trust, that’s what melts away the fear.


To Pray.  We can wish and we can want, but Praying and Trust go hand in hand.  Pray that IT IS, Do Your Best, Trust.  Then, Amen.

At the top of the Empire State Building

The comments from you all on this one have been such a blessing.  Please continue to leave your comments, shoot me an email, whatever you’d like.  This is a prime example of how YOUR SHARING has directly helped ME to learn and grow, and no doubt, helped OTHERS as well.

Sending you all Love, Love, and more Love,

The Art of Stone Stepping

“Let me not think of my work only as a stepping stone to something else, and if it is, let me become fascinated by the shape of the stone.”  ~ Ze Frank

Ze Frank

How often are you focused on the end result?  I admitted in Friday’s post that being focused on the destination is where I often live, unfortunately, not always enjoying the beauty of the journey.

And what about these stepping stones?  The bits and pieces along the way helping to take us from point A to B and from B to C.  How insignificant the stepping stones appear.  Even annoying or bothersome at times.

However, these stepping stones have been so cleverly placed on our path.  Without them, no progress would be made and that oh-so desperate end goal would never be realized.

Take a moment and stop.  For today, do not rush.  Do not stumble.  Deliberately sit on your stone.  Discover its ridges, its curves.  Become fascinated by its shape.

Ultimately, Trust you are where you’re supposed to be.