The top two things I am most thankful for this Thanksgiving holiday are fear and trust. Not Love and Trust? Those aren’t my top two? No, not today.
Of course I’m thankful for Love and Trust (and Pixie Dust too), along with my excellent health; being cancer-free for two years is top on my list of things I’m grateful for today, tomorrow, and each tomorrow I’m blessed to be alive. [I am Whole and Healed is still a very powerful mantra I continue to honor and repeat.]
But recently fear has been coming up for me. I have to believe there’s a reason for that. Lately I’ve been fearful of my next steps, which equates to, I’ve been fearful of the unknown. I have been reluctant to embrace What IS.
Last Friday night during dinner, my brother’s friend asked me where I got the idea for the book I recently published. Without thinking or blinking I said, “I didn’t. I came into this world with it already inside me.” Slowly once, twice, three times I began to blink — as if waking up to my own words. And that’s when I received the blow, both euphoric and halting: I had created something at my soul level. Something rich in meaning to me. Something my children will read. And their children will read. Something my husband’s 100 year old grandmother has read (well, she turns triple digits in two months — I’m entitled to round, right?).
I’ve spent years building up for the birth of this endeavor and have been thrilled with how well the book has been received. So why the fear?
Because at fear’s core, it is here to protect me, to wrap me in its cozy cocoon, separate me from the outside world where I might encounter who-knows-what…the unknown. Fear is here to help me experience growth. If my life were full of nothing but rainbows and sunshine, how much opportunity would I have to grow and become who I was put on this earth to be? — who I am at my core. How would she emerge? How would she be birthed? She wouldn’t. She would stay in her little cocoon, safe and comfortable, never poking her head out, or her antennae, or her beautiful wings. She would never fly.
I don’t know about you, but I want to fly. I want to SOAR.
So today, on this beautiful Thanksgiving day, I give thanks to my fear — fear that births growth.
Foundation of Trust
There’s also the foundation of Trust that I’m thankful for. Even when I block seeing What IS, even when I refuse to let go, even when I allow the unknown to get the best of me, having Trust as firm ground under my feet, heart, and wings helps me lift off, until all of a sudden, I find with each beat of gratitude-fueled wings, I fly higher and higher, until I soar — confident a foundation of Trust awaits me when I land.
Trust yourself. Love yourself. Greet your fear with a soft heart and open mind, knowing the blessings of growth and experience are yours to lean into when you’re ready. Soar with me, Friends, as we lift off in gratitude. Sending you much love and light for a peaceful, joyous Thanksgiving! Love, Leslie
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