Practicing Goodbyes
A friend recently sent me some of his favorite Richard Bach quotes. Among them was this one:
“Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.
And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”
Like you, I’m not crazy about goodbyes. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve gotten better at them, but I sometimes wonder if it’s only been through sheer practice. Is that how the military kids I grew up with dealt with goodbyes? Through practice?
Or, is there a different mind-set that helps us through goodbyes? Like so many aspects in our lives, is it more a matter of how we choose to think about a given situation? How we choose to perceive our reality?
Shift in Perception
Take a second to re-read the quote, absorb it:
“Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.”
After a few go’s at the quote, I noticed a shift in perception. What did it for me was the second sentence:
“A farewell is necessary before you can meet again.”
Oh! Okay, I see. In order to rejoice in meeting again, there must first be a farewell. A stop and a start. An end and a beginning.
Essentially, when we kiss our kids good-night, we’re giving them a farewell, a practice we start when they’re infants. Of course, they are just in another room, but this act of ‘farewell’ leads to an opportunity to meet them again, the following morning. The same occurs with our partners when we go our separate ways in the morning.
This quote reaches a crescendo with the last sentence, “And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” Think about that. Moments or lifetimes. For those who are friends.
Moments and Lifetime Feelings
I’ve experienced moments, mere seconds, away from a beloved friend that have felt like a lifetime—as if the second the door shut behind them, I already yearned for their return. It’s a lot like my yellow Lab. I can leave the house for a moment, say, to check the mail, and return to a dog who acts as if I’ve been gone years. She’s genuinely over-the-moon to see me. On the other hand, I’ve spent a lifetime away from certain friends, only to reconnect decades later and have it feel as if we had seen one other yesterday.
For all of us, we have experienced these moments and lifetime feelings.
Instead of being dismayed by goodbyes, perhaps our focus should lie in the rejoicing of meeting again. I like that. Thinking about goodbyes in this context brings me comfort.
But what if there’s still more….
No Such Thing as Goodbye
What if there are NO goodbyes among friends? I’m not talking about acquaintances here, I’m talking about *friends*. Those special souls with whom you’ve formed a heart-connection. Whether this connection is formed in person, over the phone, through emails, back and forth in texts, or even after a one time meeting. Regardless of how they’re formed, true connections exist. And when these friends truly dwell in your heart, are you ever really separated? I believe the answer is NO.
My hope is that your heart holds such friends—and holds them in such a way that you don’t feel separated by distance, but instead, you feel the Oneness that connects us all.
Doug, thank you for sending the Bach quotes. You, my friend, dwell in my heart.
Thank you Friends, especially to those who See me. Those who have been in my life for Moments AND a Lifetime. As I prepare to move my family halfway across the country, I know there is no goodbye among friends.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post. Do you know someone who could benefit from tapping in to more love and trust? Don’t be shy, please share this with them. You never know, this might be just the thing they’ve been searching for!
