Here I sit, Friday morning, experiencing this deep feeling of JOY.  It began day before yesterday, the first day my doctor released me to resume ALL normal activities.

I quickly asked, “Can I ride my bike?  How about lifting weights?”  He confirmed that I could, but warned me to ease into a workout routine, saying, “Let’s not start with the PX90, okay?  How about some Richard Simmons?  Try that first.”

I got the message.  Start slowly.  But rather than choosing one of the extremes he jokingly mentioned, I went back to my all time favorite: Jillian Michaels!  Sure, I couldn’t do a push-up.  I modified anything high impact to low, and during exercises I previously would’ve used ten pound hand weights, I used three’s.  But I did it!  Every circuit.  Every rep.  And it felt SO good!!

During the cool down, I glanced at my phone:  9:34 AM.  Whoa!  Could it really be?  Six weeks ago, at precisely that time, I was in surgery.  The first surgeon was still working, the second one not yet begun.

Much later that afternoon, a friend mentioned to me how happy I sounded.  I thought, “Yep.  Those ‘post exercise endorphins’ were still kickin’ in high gear.”  But wait, my workout had been that morning.  It was almost dinnertime.

What I was experiencing, and still continue to experience two days later, is the feeling of JOY.  It’s as if my Joy Meter is on high, pointing to the stars.  This is a joy that comes from not only knowing I am Whole and Healed, but also a joy that comes from knowing I’m BACK and HEALTHY.

For a few months I had felt different, and not in a good way.  I could feel eyes on me…and it wasn’t the sort of attention I was comfortable receiving.  I didn’t feel “normal,” whatever that means.  Being able to drive was my first milestone, providing the independence I desperately craved.  But this, this was different.  This joyous feeling comes from an inner feeling of, “Yes, I can!”

Let me tell you – – when that feeling is missing from within, then suddenly reappears, you stop and take notice, issuing immediate gratitude.

Stop and do a little inner joy check for me.  Where is your Joy Meter?  Low?  Medium?  High?  Somewhere along the spectrum, but you’re not sure where?  Are you one of the blessed ones whose needle is pointing to the stars?  Regardless of where you are, would you be willing to share with the rest of us?  To help us learn through you?

For me, my ‘to the stars’ Joy Meter stems from the feeling of, “Yes, I can!”  And it feels like a lot of things.  I feel:  Whole.  Healed.  Back.  Healthy.  Loved.  Grateful.  Joy.  And yes, SORE.  :-)  [Jillian Michaels does not mess around!]


    • Leslie Green says

      I’m so happy your Joy Meter is to the stars Mallorie!

      Now, I have a favor to ask. Next time you notice your Joy Meter reaching the stars, please take a moment and breathe, as an effort to offer thanks. You are one of the busiest women I know, so the next time your Joy Meter is off the charts, I’m asking that you stop and bask in the beautiful feeling.

      Think you can do that?

      I love you too. -Leslie

  1. says

    Great post, Leslie! The other day you referred me to your article on Mark Lepo (The Book of Awakening) and his short video where he talks about joy. I loved it so much that I posted about it today and want to share it again. He said, “When I am able to feel a moment of oneness with things, I feel joy as a sensation of oneness. I used to think that the reward for understanding Truth is wisdom. But I’ve come to understand that the reward for experiencing Truth is joy. And while I’d really like to have both, if I’m forced to choose, I’ll say at this time in my life I’ll choose joy.”

    Today I have to confess that my “joy meter” is about medium. I’m feeling a bit subdued, a little disconnected from the experience of oneness right now. It ebbs and flows. But the periods of flowing expands with practice. It’s been mostly very high lately as my connectedness has soared.

    • Leslie Green says

      Thank you, Doug. You know, our back and forth the other day is what helped me to identify the feeling I was experiencing as JOY, versus peace, or happiness, or something else.

      Thank you for being so honest about your Joy Meter. I was afraid that only folks would share who were pointing to the stars. However, it doesn’t surprise me that you shared, because that’s the nature of who we’ve grown to be – and by you sharing, and the specific words you chose, I see your second paragraph as an important teaching.

      To quote you, “It [joy] ebbs and flows. But the periods of flowing expands with practice. It’s been mostly very high lately as my connectedness has soared.” – – Now, *that* is a beautiful teaching. Thank you.

      Love, Leslie

      • Doug Stearns says

        A few years ago my “average” level of true Joy was a small fraction of what the average is these days. That’s what practive does. It’s not enough to know the Truth. One has to apply it. Now, when my awareness of oneness heightens as it did during that jazz concert I told you about, my level of Joy expands without bounds.

        Love you!

        • Leslie Green says

          So interesting…. I just finished (and am about to post) tomorrow’s article, but before I format it in WordPress, I checked out your comment above. Much of what I wrote can be summed up in your words above: “It’s not enough to know the Truth. One has to apply it.”

          Interesting how without knowing it, your comment above and my article for tomorrow are so similar.

          I suppose one of these days I’ll stop being surprised by such. :-)

          Love, Leslie (Hope you had a GREAT birthday weekend!)

  2. angelic says

    Oh, I’m just sooo happy for YOUR Joy! I can feel it in your words.

    Joy is something I take notice of. I don’t walk around in a constant state of bliss. I don’t ooze joy all of the time. It’s not that it’s rare for me to feel joy…it just isn’t on 24/7. I don’t think of it as a short coming of mine…I’m simply still a work in progress. My mind is constantly thinking, evaluating, contemplating, planning, deciding, etc. I would never describe myself as unhappy…not at all….just often in thought which often gets in the way of being consumed with joy. So, when I am blissed out with joy I notice it….I notice it big time! It’s the coolest feeling!

    I’ve been thinking about what my world looks like when I am feeling full of joy. The scenes that come to mind the most always involve my husband and/or my kids and food. My family is a big one, but food is too (which is kind of funny). Every memory that I’m conjuring up right now involves me making food or eating at a favorite restaurant. Another one is spending time with friends…and I mean the kind of friends that know my stuff and I can be deeply personal with (I’m probably also saying the friends that I can fully be myself with…yeah, yeah, I need to always be myself, yada, yada, yada…that’s a whole other subject). Another favorite is being completely alone in my home. It’s is absolutely my favorite thing to do second to spending time with my family. I relish it…it brings me immense joy. And if I am alone, I’m probably doing something with food…so that’s a double-win on the joy meter. A few years ago a chain email thing was going around that involved describing a friend’s likes/dislikes/favorite things, etc. In it, a dear friend (the kind I mentioned above) described what makes me happy. Her answer went something like this – Angelic is happiest when she is in the kitchen cooking while Kristian is playing nearby with the kids. And I really couldn’t have put that better myself. Cooking puts me in my zen place, but I love my family being nearby so I can engage with them at the same time…total joy!

    • Leslie Green says

      Wow Angie! How I LOVED reading your comment(s).

      Here’s food for thought: I think I’ll invite myself to your house. Okay, follow me here. I think I should observe you cooking (tasting bits here and there, just to make sure you’re on track). While I observe you cooking, I’d also like to watch Kristian engaging with the kids. Now, these observations, would be purely academic (as Professor Slughorn would so often remind Harry). They would help me to better understand JOY and see it live and in person, you know, to enhance my writing of JOY. :-)

      Seriously, you did an excellent job of describing the circumstances in which you FEEL JOY. How wonderful that you know it! And you’re absolutely right, when it’s there, you notice it!! You can’t help but notice it, it’s such a wonderful and unique feeling.

      Thank you for sharing. Much love to you and your beautiful family! Love, Leslie

  3. angelic says

    And the short answer is this….I feel immense JOY when I have an awareness of feeling GRATITUDE toward something/someone.

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