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Not Another Article on Passion (But Gary Vaynerchuk is just *that* worth it!)

January 7, 2011 by Leslie Green Leave a Comment

I turned 40 this past May (2010).  All the days leading up to it, and the days that followed, seemed like any other day.  I didn’t feel impacted by entering a new decade of life one iota.

But everyone kept talking about it.  And more than talking about it, they kept asking me what it felt like.  I got a lot of, “Wow!  40!  How’s that feel?”  And, “Do you feel wiser?”  And more, “What can you tell me you’ve learned, now that you’re 40?”

So, what did this highly introspective person do?  I became even more introspective, thinking, well maybe, just maybe, there really is something to this change in number.  Surely people aren’t just trying to annoy me.

As much as I felt that nothing had changed, I had to admit, there was a little nagging coming from somewhere.  Something very gently tugging at me.  It was so subtle at first I didn’t recognize it… until I did.  All of these questions and the mind chatter I had created because of them, had awoken someone whom I thought I had long since buried, or at least hidden very well:  my Passion Phantom.  Corny as it sounds, really, that’s what she’d become, the one who evaded my constant question:  What Is My Purpose??  I had been chasing her for years, only to be evaded and confused by her so many times that I did what I do best, and buried her again.  But now here she was, and this time I was more determined than ever to figure it out, once and for all.  I mean, come on, I was 40.  Surely that counts for something… according to everyone.

I decided to take a different approach.  No more meditating, I had already done plenty of that.  No more journaling.  No more going within.  I’d do something I had never done before.  I signed up for a workshop.  An intensive three day workshop that would help me see the light and point me in the right direction.  Whew!  My passion/purpose would finally be unveiled to me in three short days!!

Now, I must say, it was a fabulous workshop.  The experience, the take-aways, the insights I walked home with were incredible.  I learned a lot about myself.  But no, I left still not knowing my passion.

I later came to the conclusion that I was defective — at least as it related to this topic.  And I decided to move on, determined that the phantom would remain a phantom.  But with one slight change on my part.  Instead of burying her, pretending she didn’t exist, I made a conscious decision to let go.  I would no longer give this notion of passion any more energy.

Fast forward several months.  I was on my way to the store, listening to XM Satellite radio.  Dr. Oz was on.  He and Dr. Roizen were interviewing this guy named Gary Vaynerchuk.  They were discussing social media.  I remember thinking that if I had only caught the show from the beginning, I would understand why two medical doctors were discussing social media with an entrepreneur on a medical show.  ???  My attempt to figure out why Gary V. was being interviewed soon didn’t matter anymore.  I was engrossed in what he had to say.  This guy was talking to ME.   But how was that possible?  I wasn’t big into social media;  I didn’t care about that sort of thing.  I had no desire to become an entrepreneur.  Yet I found myself listening so intently, that I didn’t want to get out of the car.  So I didn’t.  I finished listening to the rest of the show, as I turned my car around and drove to Border’s to purchase Gary’s book CRUSH IT!

I had to learn more about the passion he referred to as “living in our DNA.”  What does that mean?  Just last year I took Anatomy and Physiology and my professor talked quite a bit about DNA.  I don’t recall her ever mentioning DNA and passion in the same sentence.  [Donna, I know you’re reading this, so correct me if I’m wrong.  You never mentioned those two together, correct?]  Yet Gary spoke at length about passion and DNA and it was actually starting to make sense.

Fast forward a day or so.  The book is now read.  I understand the concept of passion being in your DNA.  I’m ready.  I sit quietly, and BOOM.  There it is.  No lie.  I began to laugh.  Or was it cry?  Whatever.  I couldn’t believe it had been right there in front of me all the time and I had been searching and searching like a fool.  See, I was searching in the wrong place.  I thought it had to look a certain way, so I wasn’t looking with my eyes wide open.

Very simply, MY PASSION IS CONNECTING WITH PEOPLE. That’s what I LIVE for.  Connecting with people is what gives me energy and what helps me breathe.  And with the whole concept of Trust Life Today (TLT), I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that I like connecting with people on a rich and meaningful level.  That doesn’t mean I can’t talk hair and nails, too. But I can’t talk ONLY hair and nails. There has to be more. I have to be learning and growing from the connection with other people, and ideally, I’d like the other person to be learning and growing through me also.

Now at this point, if you’re reading this post and are disappointed because my passion ended up falling short for any of the following reasons, here are some 40 year old’s words of wisdom for you:

1.  If my passion was too anti-climactic for you — It’s MY passion, not yours, and I’m REALLY excited about it, you don’t have to be.  (And I hope you feel this way too once you realize yours.)

2.  If you thought it would fall into the category of a job or a career that perhaps would also apply to you, but doesn’t,  that’s very inconvenient, I realize.  But YOU have to do the work, no one can do this for you.

3.  If you had visions that my passion would tie directly to money, and since it doesn’t appear to (on the surface), you don’t see the point, well, sit tight.

Here’s the kicker — pay attention.  Another thing Gary V. speaks to at length is how any passion can be monetized.   Any passion.  [He even gives a ridiculous example of a passion for worms to make his point.]  If this is the point that has disappointed you, and you want to find your passion, and you want to link it to something you can monetize, then I highly recommend you pick up his book.  Short book.  Easy read.  Nice lay out.  But you must be willing to let go of old thinking.  Things don’t have to look a certain way.  Eyes wide open is key.

And in my opinion, Letting Go and Trusting Life will do you a world of good too.  :-)

 

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Fear Versus Love

January 4, 2011 by Leslie Green Leave a Comment

I was talking to a girlfriend late last night on the phone. (I realize this is only my second blog entry, but do you already sense a pattern?  Some people watch TV.  I talk on the phone.  For me, it’s all about connecting with others; more on that to come.)

So, as Lisa and I were talking, I remembered an article I had read by Martha Beck, in which she discussed how our motivations are driven by either fear or love.  This concept of fear vs. love is not a new one for me.  It has actually been a repeated theme that a close circle of friends and I have discussed on several occasions.

I no longer have the article, but I did jot down a few notes from it, and here is what I either captured or can remember:

Fear Versus Love

FEAR                                               LOVE
Always feels bad                             Always feels good
Motivates grasping                        Motivates liberation
Seizes control                                 Relaxes control
Insists on certainty                        Accepts uncertainty
Needs everything                           Needs nothing

Nice list, right?  But here’s the thing, if you’re anything like me, my mind can tend to play a fine game of ‘sit and spin’ on the fear side.  And when I’m actively participating on the fear side, there’s always some well meaning person there to remind me, “If you would just change your thinking….”  To which, I typically respond with, “That’s easier said than done,” if it seems hopeless.  Or, I respond with, “How?” if I truly want to take action and make a change.  Well, the how lies in love.

Much of what we experience that feels “bad” is really what we’ve created for ourselves that is rooted in fear.  But, what if we were able to flip it?  What if we were able to make a shift?  When I flip it and concentrate on the love side above, I can walk through almost any situation and my experience changes.

For me, the key is to catch myself during the spinning and acknowledge what’s happening.  (Over years of self observation, I’ve identified that my breathing gives me away every time.  Breathe from my chest = anxiety, which is fear based.  Breathe from my abdomen = a state of peace, which is love based.)  After I’ve identified what’s happening, I usually let out a sigh of relief.  My ego can no longer play a game of mental gymnastics with me.

That is to say, the next time you find yourself in a situation that feels “bad,” or you feel as if you’re grasping, or trying to seize control, etc., let your gut be your guide over to the love side.  And as you walk into the love, use the guide above to ask yourself:

Do I feel good?
Do I feel free?
Have I relaxed my feelings of control over this situation?
Do I accept the uncertainty of the outcome?
Do I need nothing?

Boil it down there.  And if you still have discomfort, realize where it lies in the questions and investigate the fear further until it gives way.  Pinpointing where the fear remains is a powerful liberator.  Once you know where it’s trying to hide, you can shine the light on it until you feel love.

After all, isn’t that what we all desire?  To feel love, not fear?  Find a person who says the opposite and let me know.

“And when you’ve done all…stand.”  Which is how I like to think of Trust Life Today.

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.
-Lao Tzu

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About Trust Life Today (TLT)

January 1, 2011 by Leslie Green

trust life Why Trust Life?

Why Trust Life Today? Where did it come from? When did it first pop in my head?

Before Trust Life popped in my head, it lived in my heart… I just didn’t know it as such. Here’s how it happened: in the Fall of 2010 I was talking with a close friend on the phone. To be honest, I don’t remember the exact topic we were discussing, but with this particular friend, we tend to have deep, meaningful conversations, so it didn’t surprise me the conversation turned to trust. She said, “…it’s because you trust me.” Now, to provide a bit of context here, she wasn’t asking if I trusted her, she said it as a statement, as a matter of fact, based on our relationship and the near lifetime of friendship we’ve shared. To my surprise, I did not out and out agree with her. Instead, I took it a step further and responded with, “No, it’s because I TRUST LIFE.” Now, this wasn’t meant to diminish what she had said, or to imply that I didn’t trust her.  I, in fact, do trust her.  However, the more appropriate response was to take her statement and blow it up to what it really was:

Trusting life is bigger, deeper, broader and it is rooted inside me. Trusting life is not something that I place outward on someone else, or because of someone else.

You Cannot Be Convinced to Trust Life….

It wasn’t until it came out of my mouth, that it hit me… Trust Life had been living in my heart for as long as I could remember, for as long as I had known. See, Trust Life is a knowing, it’s not something you discover or something someone talks you into believing. It’s a knowing. And once you know it, it becomes a way to live.

Trust Life and all that it means, resonated so deeply with me, I immediately started writing about it. In the writing, I began to jot down instances in my life when I had worried and worried about a situation, only to have it work out fine – – as soon as I let go, and trusted.  What? — all of that fear and worry had been a waste of time?  Yes.  That’s correct.

….But You Can Learn How to Trust Life

Now, I realize the concept of Trust Life has been around forever. It exists across cultures, across different religious traditions, basically in every nook and cranny. I didn’t start this blog to declare I invented the concept — that would be preposterous – – we can all agree on that! Rather, what I’m doing is serving as a conduit for the message of letting go and trusting life, guiding those who are interested in learning how to trust, learning how to turn their fears and worries upside down.

I come from a long line of worriers and thinkers. My mother is the Queen of Worry. My father was the King of Thinking. I inherited both qualities in full force. However, that doesn’t mean that I have to live in the worry or live in the endless thinking that caused me bouts of insomnia for over two decades. When I Live in the Trust, I Let Go. And I know:  I am taken care of.

For more information on Trust Life Today (TLT), please read: “Just What Do I Believe?” (And Other Questions Straight from You).  If what you’ve read speaks to you, please sign up below to receive posts directly to your inbox on trust and love.  Love, Leslie

 

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Leslie I understand that for many, Trust does not come easy. It falls into the black-hole called "Easier-Said-Than-Done." And here is why: Because as children, most of us learned the exact opposite of how trust works.                Continue reading >>

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