Why YOU Must Be the Hand Holder, Not the Other Way Around

A little girl of about eight-years old and her father were crossing a bridge one afternoon by foot.  Around halfway across, the wind began to pick up.  The little girl’s hair whipped all about, for brief moments making it difficult for her to see.  An egregious gust of wind came with such sudden force, the father stumbled, then lurched forward in a vain attempt to retrieve his hat.  As the grown man watched the black speck of fabric flutter downward and eventually strike the river below, he felt a slight shiver as he was reminded just how fragile life can seem.

It was this thought, the thought of the fragility of life in general, and of his mortality in particular, that made this man feel vulnerable and scared.  Quite unexpectedly and with more force than he had intended, the father announced to his little girl, “Sweetheart, please hold Daddy’s hand so that you don’t fall into the river.”

The little girl responded, just as fast as the whip of wind, “No, Daddy.  You hold my hand.”

“What’s the difference?” asked the puzzled father.

“There’s a big difference,” replied the little girl.  “If I hold your hand and something happens to me, I’ll probably let go.  But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let go of my hand.”

In any relationship, the Truth of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond.  So hold the hand of the person whom you love, rather than expect them to hold yours.

Do this:  the next time you find yourself clasping your own hands (you may be doing it now), notice how your fingers interlace perfectly, naturally, effortlessly.  Remind yourself to see THAT as a bond of Self-Love.  What a beautiful place to start…that has no end.

May you lead your life by Love.  And live your life with Trust.  Amen.

hand holder

If today’s message spoke to you, won’t you please share it on Facebook or Twitter?  You never know, it might be just the thing someone in your circle of friends is meant to experience today.  Thank you!


Why Do I Lie to Myself? Why Do You?

Is your life a breeze?  Mine is…some days.  And other days…it’s far from it.

Why do you suppose that happens?  The far-from-it days, that is?

It is because there are times I lie to myself, that’s the short answer.  There are times I do not act in my own best interest.  And when that happens, I don’t trust myself—and my life does not feel anything like a breeze.  I experience each step of life with heavy, labored, burdened feet.

See, lies, trust, acting in one’s best interest…they are all related.  In fact, give me one thing that isn’t related to trust and I’ll happily eat dirt, large spoonfuls of it.

Whether it’s in the workplace with colleagues, in your doctor’s office with your doctor and her staff, at your child’s school with his teacher, counselor, and principal, or at your local Starbucks to get your order correct…trust is everywhere.  Trust is the foundation of all relationships.  Continue Reading

Is Your Glass Half Full or Glass Half Empty? What If I Told You It Doesn’t Matter?

How often have you heard that optimists see the glass half full and that pessimists see the glass half empty?  Pretty standard.

Of course, we aren’t really talking about just a glass;  we are talking about much more than a glass.  We are talking about LIFE—about all of the situations and experiences that make up our rich lives.  Things like:

  • love
  • relationships
  • career twists and turns
  • changes in our health status
  • joys with our children
  • pains with our children
  • and on and on….

I suspect that for years you’ve been told you were a glass half full person or a glass half empty person.  You may have even bought into the label, describing yourself as such to others.  Let me ask you, how does it feel to be seen by others as a glass half full person?  Pretty darn wonderful!  Yes, who me?  The person who has it all together?  Sure, I’ll take it!  And how does it feel to be the glass half empty person?  Pretty darn un-wonderful.  Don’t mind me.  Just off to figure out how to fix another thing that’s wrong with me.

Only there is nothing wrong with you.  It’s all BS; it simply is not true.

What if I told you that the status of “your glass” does not matter one bit?  Continue Reading

Hope, Heart, and Health: A Tribute to What Cancer is NOT

Three years ago, on this very day, many of you were praying for me as I went into the hospital to undergo a bi-lateral mastectomy.  Today is a day of celebration and I feel blessed, Blessed, BLESSED!

You may recall in 2011 when this healing journey began, I asked you to do one thing:  To see me as Whole.  As already healed…in the present tense.  And you did.  Thank you.

Over the three-plus years since the diagnosis that started it all, I have learned more than I’d sometimes care to remember about cancer:  the logistics of maneuvering the in’s and out’s, the physical aspects, and the emotional and psychological splat of it.  That’s what it often feels like—SPLAT!—out of control and smearing in so many different directions, there’s no way to contain your emotions at times.

But here’s one thing I’ve found to be true of cancer:  no two experiences are the same.  Everyone lives their own, unique experience.  It’s the same with divorce.  With childbirth.  With attending university.  We each travel our own, distinct journey, framing our own, remarkable path.

There are certain journeys and paths that do not have to be….    Continue Reading