Regarding yesterday’s post, “What An Odd Place to Hide Feelings” ….
Funny how being in one’s own head has advantages and disadvantages, especially when that head is mine! I had a very clear idea of the message I was attempting to communicate yesterday, however, I fell short on the delivery.
After receiving your feedback and emails, I went to bed last night with a 50/50 split: folks asking if I really believed it’s a good idea to keep your feelings in a suitcase, and others indicating it was nice to hear support for expressing your feelings and making sure they’re NOT being trapped in a suitcase.
Clearly, I was unclear. First, my apologies. Secondly, thank you for the questions/comments. Had you not sent them, I would have never known that my message was so poorly delivered.
So today, let me be clear. I believe feelings should come out; they should not be crammed in a suitcase, they should not be ignored or dismissed. I believe that when we stuff our feelings, all sorts of additional stuff creeps up. The additional stuff I’m referring to can manifest in tons of different ways — I’m not even going to attempt to open that can of worms. My point is, I don’t believe it’s healthy to keep your feelings locked up inside.
Before writing yesterday’s article and responding to the questions that followed, I honestly hadn’t given much thought to any instance where you’d purposely want to keep your feelings inside. However, after giving it a bit more thought, there are limited instances where the suitcase might come in handy (these would be the exception, not the rule). Here’s how I responded to a reader when asked if you should ever keep your feelings in a suitcase:
“My .2 on the suitcase…. the times are few and far between that the suitcase is a good place to store your feelings. Feelings may get stored there for a short period while you’re 1) sorting out your thoughts and/or 2) gaining your strength. However, I don’t suggest keeping them there long-term. And to your point on letting out our feelings with tears, I believe you’re correct, there’s a reason we have the ability to cry — so cry when you feel like crying.”
And sometimes, there’s nothing better than a good cleansing cry.